disgracepoint fellowship

Tricky Acronyms

Sister S looks at a label attached on a pair of tongs and asks, "Hey, what does D-A-V-I-S stand for?"

Hurting: Fantastic Four

Friends are gathered around talking about the movie "Fantastic Four", when all of a sudden, one sister says, "Oh, I don't think I can understand the movie even if watched it, because I haven't seen Fantastic One, Two, or Three..."

Q&A Session

Brother M: Let’s open it up for questions now.

Student: Yeah… so why do you think materialism and consumerism are so prevalent in our culture today?

Brother M: I don’t know!  I’m not a socialist.

[silence in the room]

Brother M: I mean… I’m not a sociologist.

Hurting: D.L. Moody

Setting: A group of people are sitting around and talking about different seminaries named after D.L. Moody, the great American evangelist.

Friend1: Isn't there one called Moody Theological Seminary?

Friend2: Yeah, but I think there's another one that's named after D.L. Moody.

Sister V: Oh, you mean Moody Fashion Institute?

English Patient Email

English Patient email:

"Thank you very much for praying for safe travel overseas.  I think I'm finally over my jetlegs."

Graduations from a Kid's Perspective

submitted by Jenn Chen

Setting: On Graduation Sunday, the seniors are putting on caps and gowns..

Kid: Wow, Teacher G, are you graduating?

Teacher G: Yes I am.

Kid: Woa, Teacher G!  You are old!  You'll be dead soon!

English Patient: Acts of Surrender

“After I became a Christian, I stopped listening to circular music.”

Basketball Dominance

Setting: Brother L comes back from basketball and talks to Brother D about it.

Brother L: Man!  John Korea was so good today!

Brother D: What?? No way!  John Korea?

Brother L: Yeah, he's good.  I'd take John Korea over you.

Brother D: No!  You're kidding me!  I'm offended!

Brother L: Seriously, he's pretty good.

Brother D: All right!  That's it!  Me and John Korea, 1-on-1.  Let's organize it..  I will totally school...   Wait... [long pause]  Who's John Korea?

Sierra Lodge Death Star

In 2007, when we were building our Sierra Lodge, we had some wasp problems...  Here's a picture of one of the biggest wasp nests that we've seen, and below is the video of how John Ko and Tony Sun took care of that.















Note: Some brothers mocked John Ko for running away from the fallen Death Star like a little cry-baby.  We could not reach John Ko for comments.  However, there were brothers (not shown in the video) who were actually in the house, who were so afraid that they ran away to the other side of the building, even though they were inside the house.  After this video came out, Pastor Ed Kang started to tell the brothers that they were being little cry-babies and claimed that he could crush those wasps nests with his hammer, right in front of his face.  The next time we went up to the Sierra Lodge with Pastor Ed, I challenged him to actually do it, and to my amazement, he actually did it even with wasps circling around him!  It turned out to be a good story, because he didn't get eaten up by the angry wasps, otherwise this story would be quite different.

video

Course 101 Analogies

Setting: Sister K was trying to explain to someone about the Christmas Tree analogy from Course 101... 

Sister K: "Umm... so it's like we're trees that have been cut at the roots... and we are dead, but not really... well... umm...  Actually, could I just talk like I'm a tree?"

Hurting: Austin Attraction

submitted by Bryan Song

Setting: Class of '09 brothers are visiting Gracepoint Austin and asking Pastor Manny what would be a good activity to do in Austin on Saturday.


Brother: So what should we do the rest of the afternoon here in Austin?

Pastor Manny: Since you guys are going to the Texas State history museum, I think it would be nice to also go to the LBJ library.

Brother: What? Lebron James has a library here in Austin!!? Awesome!!!

English Patient: Sleeping In

English Patient: I love oversleeping!!!

Friend: Do you mean sleeping in?

English Patient: I don't know.  Do I?

Gracepoint Kids: Problematic Theology

Setting: Dad is talking to his 6 year old daughter.

Dad: Allison, how come every night you stay up so late and don’t go to sleep?

Allison: Because God made me like this.

English Patient: Cram

Someone sends out an email:
“Hello everyone, I just wanted to send you this study sheet to you all.  In case you need to cramp today, just like me!”

Steve Castro's Labor of Love

Here's a video of Steve, who is currently at Gracepoint Riverside.  We miss him dearly.

video

English Patient: Deportation

Friend: I heard that Brother X had some visa problems with the US Embassy.

Brother P: Oh no!!!   Is he going to get exported?

English Patient: Sandwiches Can Give You Energy

submitted by Eileen

Setting: At a hike in Yosemite...

Brother H: Ooh!!  I love PG&E sandwiches!

English Patient: U.S. History

Friend: What do you remember from U.S. history class in high school?

English Patient J: The Manifest Destination.

Hurting: Canned Chicken

One of the items on the shopping list was "canned chicken", and this is what a particular brother brought back.

English Patient: Recipe

Setting: During the food prep for Bible study, Brother L picks up the recipe for chipotle sauce.

Brother L: Hey!!  Andrea!  Is this your recipe for the sauce?

Andrea: No.

Brother L: But this recipe says: Andronico’s chipotle sauce…

Hurting: Half Dome

Setting: At TFN, people are sharing about what they saw which really impressed them.

Brother B: When I first saw Mt. Rushmore, I was really impressed. And also when I saw Mt. Doom.

Friend:  (pause) Mt. Doom?

Brother B: You know, that mountain in Yosemite.

Brother C: Do you mean Half Dome?

Mat Jousting

There is a game that brothers play at Sierra Barn called "Mat Jousting", where you basically run at each other holding a mat and see who stands.  During one of those moments, there was an epic moment which was captured in a video.

video

Betta Fish Followup

This happened in Gracepoint Austin, after a particular Brother T read a previous Disgracepoint post Experimental Fish

Brother J: Wow,, look at the new post on Dis-Gracepoint. Sister A actually said this about the betta fish.


Brother T: Haha, ya...thats so funny...beta doesnt mean 'not real'. Gmail is still in beta and is very real.

Vision Problems

Sister M from Gracepoint Davis, while driving at night, looks at the Shell sign and exclaims, "Wow!  Look at the moon!  It's so big!"

Sister Y Strikes Again.

Setting: Bunch of sisters are sitting around after dinner sharing foolish things that they did in the past.

Friend 1: Really?  I said that to you?  I can't believe that!  Was that in my BC (Before Christ) days?

Friend 2: Nope, AC.

Friend 3: AC but NT.

Friend 2: What's that?

Friend 3: After Christ, but Not Transformed.

Friend 1: That's D-U-M-B.

Sister Y: What's that?

Hurting: Church Cleaning

Setting: A ministry group is at our North Loop building on a particular Saturday night cleaning...

Friend: Hey... Brother M... what are you doing?

Brother M: I'm watering these indoor trees.

Friend:  You know that those are fake, right?

Experimental Fish

Sister C: Look at my new fish!  It's a betta fish.

Sister A: Beta fish?  So it's like...not a real fish yet?

Summer schedule announcements

Hello disgracepoint readers,

One more announcement...  During the summer, we are going to stretch out the posts by not posting on Saturdays or Sundays.  Those days are low-viewing days, according to google analytics, so we're not going to post on those days during the summer, and then we'll start to post every odd day again starting fall.

In those days, you can visit the punwithgracepoint site!
Hello readers,

I am happy to announce that the Pun with Gracepoint has come back.  There was a time when disgracepoint tried to do a takeover on the pun site by featuring our own puns, but we had realized how grave of a mistake that was.. not because those puns were horrible, but mostly because we had failed to realize how many of our loyal disgracepoint readers were English Patients, who were simply dumbfounded by these puns which they could not comprehend. So we had come up with an exit strategy.

Now, however, enough time has passed to allow the pain to heal, we are happy to announce to you the PunWithGracepoint site again, proudly standing independently from disgracepoint.  We are proud of them, and although the exit strategy was abrupt and painful, we are happy that punwithgracepoint is alive and well, despite the fact that it still remains to be very unfriendly toward English Patients.

Check out their latest puns at: http://punwithgracepoint.blogspot.com/

English Patient: Toy

disgracepoint tea eggFriend: You know that toy where you can interchange the parts?  You can put on a mustache, or a nose, etc..

English Patient J: Oh!  Like the egg in Toy Story!

Friend: (pause) Do you mean Mr. Potato Head?

English Patient J: He wasn’t an egg?