Dis-Gracepoint Berkeley

English Patient: Announcements

Brother J, wanting to tell people that we are now breaking off by lifegroups into different houses, says:

"Okay everyone, let's go and break into people's houses!"

Baby Stuff

Brother J walks into the pantry looking to put away some bottle caps for ketchup/salad dressing dispensers. And he asks: "Hey! Where does the baby stuff go?"

English Patient: Gentrification

Friend: Did you hear how that Starbucks closed down because of gentrification?

Sister S: What? Starbucks did gender profiling?

Setting: During a DT sharing in 1 Kings... a Sister S gets to the part where it talks about King Phineas.

First time she comes across this name, she reads it as: "Pin-aye-has." (a decent attempt)
Second time, she reads it as: "Peninas"
Third time, she reads it as: "Panini"

Vision for the World

Jesus told us to go to all the world
The first challenge is to know what the world looks like.

Gluttony-Free

We are doing our part to fight against sin.

Beautiful Sunset

Setting: Leaving Zion National Park

Brother J: Wow, the sun is so beautiful. Did you know that it sets in the south here?

Scrapbook

Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook...
except..
She forgot to type the "s" in the front.

Special Order Boba Milk Tea

Setting: Brother M goes to a boba shop.

Brother M: can I order your boba milk tea? but with no sugar.

Cashier: ok

Brother M: and can I get it without boba?

Cashier: ok

Brother M: and also without any tea?

Cashier: [silence] so... you just want milk?

Brother M: yea

(brother M walks out having spent $4 on a cup of milk)

Amazing Mussels Dish

Setting: This is what was written by one of the brothers in potluck.

Item that you will bring: Dynamite Muscles

Acronyms Are Hard

Setting: Jr bros are sharing their camping experiences, and one brother talks about how he used to change inside his sleeping bag so no one could see.

Bro L: Dude!! That's TFTI!

[silence]

Bro J: I think you mean TMI.

Jesus Multiplying 5 Loaves and 2 Fish

After a Joyland lesson on Jesus feeding the 5,000, Father B asks his child if he learned about Jesus multiplying 5 loaves and 2 fish. The child says, "No, dad, you're wrong." And he takes this out.

NOTE: There is nothing theologically significant about the number in this case, so perhaps this Joyland teacher wanted to make that point. But I doubt that that's what happened.