Texting Queen: Chickens or Ducks?

Another example of Sister S, our texting queen.

So.. after all that.. I am still left wondering... 

So are those Chick Kings or sucks?  I want to know.

Texting Patient: Rest Your Arms

Setting: There is a sister among us (whose identity has been thoroughly obscured) who is notorious for making spelling errors in texts.  She is said to make hilarious errors in about 30% of her texts.

Here's one - where my wife Sarah (who has pain in her arms) sent a text asking for prayers.

She meant "rest your arms", but 

English Patient: Self-Flagellation

Setting: Brother X talking about overly beating himself up...

X: Ah man.. I'm so self-flatulating.

English Patient: Trash Talking

Setting: Brother B trash talking on the basketball court...

B: I just can read your book like my hand.

Due Date

Brother AJ: [working on a video]  When's our due date?

Sister S: What?  Did you just ask me when's my due date?

Rise on Eagle's Something

Setting: Brother J in Gracepoint Chicago praying for someone else...

Brother J: Lord!  I pray that he will rise on eagle's eggs!

English Patient: Decompressing

Brother J: I'm sure you all feel it.  Working life is pretty tiring.  I think we could all use a little time to decompose at the end of the day.

Moonlighting Leader

Will Sam, from our Gracepoint San Diego church, has recently been discovered moonlighting as another person.  

I'm shocked.

Brother S: Man... Ocean is scary.  Because nothing can survive in the ocean.

DIY goggles

Safety is Priority, even if it looks lame.

Misunderstood Bible: A Double-Edged Sword

In Gracepoint Seattle, some people saw the verse that says that the word of God is sharper than a double-edged sword, and felt that it was pretty intimidating.

The Misunderstood Bible: Jonathan and His Armor-Bearer

In Gracepoint Seattle, a student was kind of confused why some people were so inspired by Jonathan and his armor-bearer taking down the Philistines.  After all, wouldn't it have been pretty easy if Jonathan had an armored bear?

English Patient: Announcements

Brother J, wanting to tell people that we are now breaking off by lifegroups into different houses, says:

"Okay everyone, let's go and break into people's houses!"

Baby Stuff

Brother J walks into the pantry looking to put away some bottle caps for ketchup/salad dressing dispensers.  And he asks: "Hey!  Where does the baby stuff go?"

English Patient: Gentrification

Friend: Did you hear how that Starbucks closed down because of gentrification?

Sister S: What?  Starbucks did gender profiling?

King Phineas

Setting: During a DT sharing in 1 Kings...  a Sister S gets to the part where it talks about King Phineas.

First time she comes across this name, she reads it as: "Pin-aye-has."  (a decent attempt)
Second time, she reads it as: "Peninas"
Third time, she reads it as: "Panini"

Vision for the World

Jesus told us to go to all the world
The first challenge is to know what the world looks like.

Gluttony-Free

We are doing our part to fight against sin.

Beautiful Sunset

Setting: Leaving Zion National Park

Brother J: Wow, the sun is so beautiful.  Did you know that it sets in the south here?

Scrapbook

Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook...
except..
She forgot to type the "s" in the front.