Picture of the Apartment

Setting: A brother who is looking for a new apartment is asked for some pictures of the apartment, and this is what he sent...

English Patient: Difficult Acronyms

Setting: People are taking a group picture, and Sister M was working in the kitchen.  People call out to her to be in the group picture.

Sister M: (turns toward the rest of the kitchen crew) Oh!  I gotta go and take the picture outside!  T.M.I.!

Others: [Confused]  What does she mean TMI?  What's too much information?

Sister M: Oh.. I wanted to say: Be Right Back.

English Patient: Illegal Picture Frames

Setting: Sister M from Gracepoint Davis is teaching people the art of using decorative embellishments to make a picture frame look special.

Sister M: Okay everyone, usually, people don't think about doing anything to the frame itself.  Today, I'm going to teach you how to use embezzlement to make your frame look beautiful.

A Big Spelling Error

Setting: Brother P, who was the emcee for the wedding, texts brother B to ask him to do the prayer at the wedding.

He texts: "Can you pay for the wedding?"

Brother B thinks that something happened with the family and wonders if he has enough credit to cover for the wedding.

Pastor Ball

Here's an awesome video of the GBA game a few weeks back, which Kenny Choi filmed and produced.
(GBA stands for geriatric basketball association).

Valentine's Day of Compassion

An English Patient sends out an email talking about Joyland's plan on Valentine's Day:

"This Friday, Joyland is visiting condolence homes as Valentine's Day of Compassion with Joyland kids." 

You're Welcome, English Patients

An English Patient sister was talking about Disgracepoint stories, and she said, "Actually, I learned a lot of my English through Disgracepoint."

You are welcome.

Cognitive Dissonance

Here's an example of a cognitive dissonance, where you are getting two conflicting thoughts / messages at the same time.
This a hangman game that one of the Joyland teachers played with the kids.

English Patient: Leaning Tower of Pisa

Setting: English Patient Sister M from Gracepoint Davis is setting up her Christmas tree...

Sister M: Oh no, the tree is tilting like the Leaning Eiffel tower! 

A Disturbing Sign

Here's a sign that was put up near the entrance of our Gracepoint Davis' 607 building, so that as someone is coming into the building, they were greeted by this sign.

English Patient: Chinese Nuns

Brother D: Hey, did you know that 50% of all the nuns in China are originally Japanese nuns?

Friend: Nuns?  Like in convents?

Brother D: No, I mean nuns, like words.

Friend: You mean nouns?

Brother D: [silence]

Gracepoint Weddings: A Child's Perspective

Setting: After a wedding service, a 6-year-old child asks his parents...

Child J: So.. when 2 people get married, they stand in front of everybody, and after the pastor makes fun of them, we all go eat food?

English Patient Confrontation

For English Patients, even an uncomfortable confrontation by a friend can turn out to be a wonderful gift.

Irritated Friend: "I have some beef with you."

Sister H: "Oh wow! You have something to give me?"

Baptistry Take-Down

Setting: After a baptism service, Deacon Brother M texts all the brothers who are in the take-down crew...

"After this, we need your help to take down the baptist."

NOTE: Pastor Ed walked away safely from the baptism service, unaware of this plot.  I guess NSA surveillance does stop some attacks.

English Patient: Mother of All Potlucks

Ahmi: Hi everyone, we're going to have the mother of all potlucks for this coming Thanksgiving Retreat!

English Patient Sister P: Even though I'm not a mother yet, I would like to bring something for the potluck.

English Patient Opera

Setting: Someone was singing a rendition of a song from the musical Les Miserables...

Sister H: Wow! She is singing an Oprah!

English Patient: Dr. Phil

Setting: A group is playing Pictionary at a board game night.

Brother D: This is a soda that is dark colored!

Brother W: Coca Cola! Pepsi! Dr. Pepper!

Brother D: You are so close! It's like an off-brand of the one you just mentioned!

Brother B: Mr. Pibb?

(The timer runs out.)

Brother D: You guys were so close! It was Dr. Phil!

English Patient: Ambidextrous

Setting: Some brothers are working at Longhorn Lodge. Brother C switches off using a hammer from his right hand to his left hand.

Brother W (sounding impressed): Wow!  You're an amphibian?!

Abra Cadabra

Setting: A group is playing Catchphrase at a Koinonia board game night.

Friend: This is what a magician says as he waves his magic wand!

Brother D: HAKUNA MATATA!

No Frills Bible Study

Gracepoint San Diego was trying to let students know of the new Wednesday Bible Study as a "no-frills" Bible study, and this was what a particular brother put up.  Read the first sentence.

English Patient: Sickness Types

Setting: An English Patient Brother K is sniffling in the morning...

Friend: Hey Brother K, are you okay?

Brother K: Yeah, I have morning sickness.

Government Shutdown Article

This is a clip from an actual article from an online news "Billings Gazette"
Edwin was with his family in Montana this week, and he made it into the local news.

Famous Japanese People

Setting: A bunch of people of Gracepoint Austin are talking about prominent Japanese people and Japanese culture.

Korean Sister S: When I think of Japanese, I think of Jackie Chan.

Handsome Guys of Hsinchu

Setting: A group of 10 brothers are riding an elevator in a department store. It stops on a floor and a middle-aged couple walks in.

Wife: (In Chinese) "wow, 都是帥哥 (a bunch of handsome young guys)."

Brother L: "oh yeah, thanks!"

Husband: Oh honey, could you press the button for the third floor?

Wife: [after squinting at the buttons for a few seconds]  sorry, which one is it?  I can't really see...  I didn't bring my glasses.

[..silence for the rest of the elevator ride]

Difficult English Descriptions

Setting: An email conversation among a household of sisters that went something like this...

English Patient Sister B: Let's do a deep clean of the house!  Every book and cranny!

Healthy English Friend: Ha ha!  Yeah, let's clean every book and page in the house!  :)

English Patient Sister E: (replying to Sister B privately, to help her out)  It's every "crack and cranny", I think.

Label Makers

Here's a picture of a label that was printed out and attached.

















A bunch of people at Gracepoint Davis were laughing at this picture.  Brother B stares intensely into the picture and asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"

NOTE: Whenever we see a restaurant menu with really bad spelling (such as China Village's "Pork Dumping" menu item), we have wondered why the restaurant owners wouldn't first check their spelling before actually printing it out and laminating it.  But now we know how such a thing would happen.  They DID check with someone.  It's just that that someone was the wrong someone.

Dangers of Chopsticks

Here's an actual sign posted at a Vietnamese restaurant.

English Patient: How Would You Like Your Eggs?

Waitress: How would you like your eggs?

Sister M: Cooked.

Waitress: Oh, I meant, would you like it scrambled? sunny-side up?

Sister M: Sorry!  ha ha..  I want it scrambled.

Waitress: (Turning to Sister C sitting at the same table) How would you like your eggs?

Sister C: Well done.

Keeping English Patients Anonymous

Here's a photo of a speed scrabble game.  This inspiring piece was the work of a particular Sister Y of Gracepoint Berkeley, who will remain anonymous.

Target Neutralized

Sister E: What?  You thought I wasn't a citizen of America?  I was neutralized in middle school!