A particular man in our midst, who will remain anonymous (the identity of this man is to remain strictly confidential, as evidenced by the effort put into protecting his identity in the photo), walked into Berkel Berkel, which is a Korean restaurant on Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley.Setting: 5-year-old Michelle makes this speech in front of her family members.
Michelle: Mommy! You are a princess!
Mom: Wow, really?
Michelle: Daddy! You’re a prince!
Dad: Okay.
Michelle: Grandma, you’re the cook!
Grandma: ??
Michelle: Elise (her older sister), you’re the servant!
Elise: What??
Michelle: And everyone!! Everyone needs to listen to me, because I’m the queen!!
Setting: Brother W and his wife E were driving to a place where Brother W would be teaching the Bible study.
Sister E: So what do you think about these issues? There are so many things to think about.
Brother W: I know, but let’s not talk about that right now, because I gotta concentrate.
Sister E: But we need to talk through these items. I’m so stressed.
Brother W: You’re stressed? Hey, at least you don’t have to teach Bible studies!
Sister E: At least you don’t have to listen to them!
At this point, Brother W, who is a good sport about bantering, was first shocked, but then realized that his wife bested him, and said, “Wow! That’s a good one!!”
On our trip to Grand Canyon, us pampered Californians soon discovered that the chilly Arizona proved to be too much for us.
In desperation, we found ourselves having a new idol... the bright brown trash can, which was very warm from absorbing much heat from the sunlight.
Before we know it, we were all crowded around that new idol of ours, touching it, leaning on it, hugging it, worshipping it...
It is another example of just how weak human body is.
There was one time when Brother K was just throwing a football around with Brother R, a good football player.
Then Brother K had a great idea and told Brother R, “Hey, you’re a kicker, right? Why don’t you kick the ball as high as you can to me?”
Brother R asked Brother K if he was sure, and K taunted him, “Come on, R, give it your best shot, come on!”
Then Brother R kicked the football high up into the air, higher than Brother K has ever seen any manmade object go. Brother K ran to the landing spot where he projected the football would come down, and as he waited there for the next few seconds, the football was still coming down, accelerating and picking up speed as it spun downward, downward, downward. Brother K, while watching the football coming down at an incredible speed approaching terminal velocity, realized that he could hurt himself if he tried to catch the football. So at the last second, Brother K decided that he’s not going to try to catch this football, and he tried to bail by jumping out of the way. However, the football was coming down so fast at this point that Brother K simply could not get out of the way fast enough, resulting in the football hitting the chest of Brother K with frightening power, knocking the wind out of Brother K’s lungs. And he was falling, Brother K sprained both of his ankles.
The next day, when asked how he sprained both of his ankles, Brother K simply replied, “Football.”
submitted by Robert Kim
Brother JC: "All right guys, let's have a serious D-house meeting. Embrace yourselves"
[At this point, a bunch of guys started to wrap their arms around themselves]
submitted by maurice
Setting: A father was babysitting his son and a friend's daughter who were both 3 years old.
Father: Hey, what are you playing?
Little girl: Oh, we're playing house and I'm pretending to cook a yummy food for us. It's really fun!
Father: Son, are you having fun too?
Son: (pause) RARRRH!!
submitted by maurice
Setting: A certain brother was driving with his 3 year-old son, and his friend's daughter, also 3 years old, in the back seat. This brother's wife was on a summer mission trip, as was the little girl's dad.
Father: Do you know where your daddy is?
Little Girl: Yes, he's in China right now, teaching people about God.
Father: Wow, that's nice. Hey son, do you know where your mommy is?
Son: (pause) Look, Daddy, a train!!!
Setting: Mark and Naomi's son, Daniel, came home from Joyland one week singing the hymn, "Great Is My Faithfulness".
Parents: What did you say, Daniel?
Daniel: Great is My Faithfulness.
Parents: No, no, the real words are Great is "Thy" Faithfulness.
Daniel: No, it's "My" Faithfulness. Teacher JN said so.
