8/27/15

Disgracepoint Classic: Caption Contest Winners

We used to have contests of people submitting their own caption for a picture.  When I posted this old picture of Pastor William Kang of Gracepoint Davis Church, I got many submissions.  But these 3 won the popularity contest in 2008.  (Disclaimer: the picture below comes from way before 2008).

gracepoint fellowship church pastor: awesomeness
gracepoint fellowship church pastor: past
gracepoint fellowship church pastor: ignorance

8/21/15

Disgracepoint Classic: Pull My Finger

Setting: Brother T (who was at Gracepoint Berkeley Church when this happened, but he's now at Gracepoint San Diego) was playing sports and dislocated his index finger. He was rushed to the hospital where a triage nurse saw him.
  
Nurse: Okay, your finger is dislocated.. so I'm going to try to pull your finger back into place.

Brother T: Okay.. [sticks out his finger toward her]

[Nurse pulls, and brother T, blinded by the flash of pain that hit him, loses control and...]

Brrrrttttt!

Nurse: (immediately stops pulling the finger... pauses) Okay.. Let's try that again.

The above story demonstrates that sometimes "pull my finger" is no joke.

8/17/15

Disgracepoint Classic: Pizza, Italy, Cheese Are All Related

Setting: Long ago, a brother at Gracepoint Austin Church was looking at a slanted shoe rack..

Brother W: Hey that looks like the cheese tower of leaning (pointing at a slanted shoe rack)

Friend: ... Did you mean the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

Brother W: Oh, yeah... You know it's the same thing because pizza has cheese.


NOTE: I am not exactly sure why this particular post is so popular -- I'm really just going by the number of views that it has gotten.  It might just be the picture that is popular.

8/12/15

Disgracepoint Classic: A Disturbing Sign

Here's a sign that was put up near the entrance of our Gracepoint Davis Church's 607 building, so that as someone is coming into the building, they were greeted by this sign.  I'm sure that Pastor William Kang was disturbed by this, although the sign very clearly tells him not to be.

8/11/15

The Disgracepoint Classics

Hello everyone,

Ever since 7 years ago when Disgracepoint was created during a Sierra Lodge trip with the Gracepoint leaders, it has thankfully brought many laughter and joy.  Recently, the posts have slowed down for some mysterious reason, and it's because I have simply not been getting people's submissions of funny things that their friends have done.

One theory is that it's because our church people are getting more intelligent and therefore make fewer mistakes, so there are just fewer ridiculous stories to share.  I am not sure about that theory.

Whatever the reason, in the upcoming weeks, we are going to feature some of the old but awesome posts from the past, and even some that were never posted!

Stay tuned.

8/10/15

English Patient: Lance Armstrong's Detour

Brother P: Hey guys, you know Lance Armstrong, the famous cyclist who won the Detour France 7 times?

6/21/15

English Patient: Single-Gender Groupings

Setting: At a picnic, English Patient Brother Y tells people to get into single-gender groups of 4 by saying the following...

Brother Y: Okay!!  Now, let's get together with 3 other people who only have a single gender!

5/31/15

Childhood Expectations

While babysitting, Sister L hears Kid B saying, "Gosh, I wish my mom would write me notes on my lunch napkins."

Sister L asks Kid B where she got that idea, and Kid B says, "Well, sometimes my friends' moms write nice notes on their lunch napkins like 'I love you' and things like that."

Sister L tips this off to the child's mom, and Mommy G thinks it will be a cute surprise to write her notes on her lunch napkins.  So she writes her notes.

Next day, Mommy G asks her daughter, "So did you enjoy your lunch?"

Kid B says, "Mommy, can you never write me notes again?  I thought I would like it, but it was really embarrassing."

5/26/15

Biology Patient: Plant Food

Sister L: Man, I've been watering this every single day. Why are the leaves so flimsy looking?  Hey guys, what do you use for fertilizer? Maybe I should crush a vitamin pill for it.

Friends: Umm, plants don't need the same nutrients as humans.

Sister L: Hmmm.. Okay, how about juice?

5/22/15

What Pirates Say

A GROUP OF BROS: Howdy, Isaac!

ISAAC: What?  Why are you saying Howdy?

BROTHER J: Yeah!  Isn't that what pirates say?

5/17/15

Birthday Surprise When You Least Expect It

I think there are some birthday surprises, and then there are REALLY surprising birthday surprises that come when you least expect it.

5/15/15

An Old Picture

Submitted by: Anonymous

Take a look at this picture of several cute 5-year-olds and see if you recognize anyone.


Hint: This kid is now known as Pastor J, and he's currently serving at Gracepoint A.
And yes, it does seem like he's wearing a skirt.  But they are shorts.

5/9/15

Hawaiian for "Hello"

Sister I: I work with a lot of Hawaiians at my workplace.  They always say, "Hola" in their emails.

4/22/15

English Patient: Costumes

Setting: Sister Y sends out a request for collecting different costumes for A2F Live...  And one of the items that was sought out was Argyle sweater.  And this is the list that was sent out..  (look below for the red arrow)



3/27/15

Funny Names for Daughters

Brother Shih: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Sue -- Sue Shih.

Everyone: [laughs] 

Brother Chi: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Kim -- Kim Chi. 

Everyone: [laughs]

Brother Jang: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Natasha.

Everyone: ...

3/13/15

Human Beings

Setting: A Joyland child talking to his teacher...

Teacher: Do you know why people are called "human beings"?

Child: We're called "human", because we are people.  And we're called "beans", because we grow, just like beans.

2/5/15

A New Song

Setting: At Gracepoint SD, Sarah emails Brother J, the ProPre guy, about the song selection for the prayer meeting time...

Sarah's email: 
Hi,
So far I have
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Before the Throne of God Above
Boldly I Approach

And perhaps one more song.
Thank you.
-Sarah

Brother J's reply to Sarah's email
Hi Sarah,
I couldn't find the song "So Far I Have", could you find me the link to the lyrics?  Is this a new song?

1/23/15

Oz vs Lb

It really is difficult at times to familiarize ourselves with all the acronyms.
For your reference, oz = ounce.  lb = pound.  And there are 16 ounces in a pound.

When a Brother D from Gracepoint San Diego was asked to get 60 oz of canned tomatoes, he brought back the following.


12/26/14

Ronaldo - Soccer or Football?

Setting: During a catch-phrase game...

Sister F: Oh!  This guy plays football!
Friend: Isn't the category "food"?
Sister F: Wait! This guy plays soccer!  Yeah, soccer!
Friend: Isn't the category "food"?

* timer buzzes

Friend: What was the answer?
Sister F: Ronald McDonald!

12/21/14

The Most Epic Physical Feat

Here's a birthday tribute video to Mark Lee, who can do one of the most epic physical feat you would ever see.  It defies age, science, physiology and the law of F=ma.  (Force = mass x acceleration).




12/13/14

English Patient: Half and Half Times Four

While waiting for the tapioca drinks, Brother M sees how the barista makes the Thai milk tea with so much half-and-half and says, "Oh my gosh, look at all that double-double!"

12/9/14

The Great State of Chicago

Setting: During the Gracepoint Davis' IGSM game time, this was one of the questions.




11/19/14

Double English Patients: Healthy Idioms

English Patient #1: Oh wow, she is as healthy as a dog!

English Patient #2: Umm.. I think the idiom is: "healthy as an ox"

Normal Person: The sayings are "strong as an ox" and "healthy as a horse".

11/11/14

Blessed Sharing

Setting: After completing the IGSM video for our Thanksgiving Retreat, Professor C, head of IGSM ministry in Gracepoint Berkeley, writes the following email:

"I was much blessed by the shadings of this video..."


All I have can say is that whoever did the lighting for the video must have been extremely talented.

10/31/14

Diet Plans

A brother emails another brother who is on a gluten-free diet, and asks:
"Hey, I want to be on the same diet as you.  What do you recommend for my glutton-free diet?"

10/25/14

Violent Mingling

Setting: In planning for a lifegroup, Brother B sends out the schedule, which includes the following...

10-10:20: Snack and Mangling Time

10/5/14

English Patient: World History

Setting: A group of sisters are playing the game Taboo...

Friend: This person was a great American leader!

English (History?) Patient Sister: Adolf Hitler!

Everyone: [silence]

9/28/14

Change of Mind

This is what someone found in the apple basket in HB, in Gracepoint Berkeley.

There is a spiritual lesson here.  Yes, we are free to change our minds at any time.  But that doesn't mean that it's as if it never happened.


Any other spiritual lessons that can be learned from this picture?

8/27/14

English Patient: Cole Slaw

Setting: Gracepoint San Diego team is at North Carolina on a vision trip, and we are eating lunch at a burger joint, where they put cole slaw in their burgers.

Friend: Hi Brother T, do you like your slaw in your burger?

Brother T: Yeah, but they are cold.

Friend: They are supposed to be cold.

English Patient Sister L: Ha ha, don't you know?  That's why they are called Cold Slaw!

8/19/14

English Patient: A Cynical Place

English Patient: Our family's going on vacation!

Friend: That's great!  Do you like historical places to visit?

English Patient: My family likes cynical places.

Friend: ...  Do you mean scenic places?