English Patient: Street Name

Setting: English Patient Brother E is signing up for a Spotify account, and he runs into the form item asking for "Street Name".

Brother E: Street name?  Hmm.... People just call me by the same name.  So for me, my street name is the same as my real name..

* Brother E puts down his name on the street name and presses "Submit"*

Indian Patient: Tikka Masala

Friend: Hey, I really like Indian food.

Sister S: Yeah.  I really like Taj Mahal.

Friend: You mean tikka masala?

The Asian Girl from Harry Potter

Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter?

Sister S: Chow Mein!

Friend: Nevermind.

Chow Mein

English Patient: SUV

Sister A: I want to buy a non-American car.

Friend: You should get a Hyundai Sonata, then.

Sister A: Well, that's a sedan, and I was thinking about getting a USB.

Mysterious Chinese Menu Item

We have no idea what the first 2 dishes are.

English Patient: Nasty Falafel

Sister X: Hey, what is this falafel made of?

Friend: I think it's chickpea.

Sister X: Oh sick!! Spit it out!

Making sure that there are no typos

Checklists are really crucial to make sure that there are no embarrassing mistakes.

Technology Patient: Wife

Sister S (Technology Patient): Hey, how is your wife?

Brother: What?  I'm not married.

Sister S: Sorry, how's your Wi-Fi internet?

English Patient: Amazing Food Places

Sister Y: Hey, in Pleasanton, there are these amazing restaurants in the palace.

Friend: There's a palace in Pleasanton?  Wait, do you mean plaza?

Tobasco

Setting: A father and son walking down the aisle of Safeway...

Son: Hey Daddy!  Remember how you said we ran out of tobacco?  Don't forget!  We need more tobacco!

English Patient: Blew a Gasket

Sister E: Oh no, did he blow a casket?

Friend: No, that would be cruel.

Trash-talking on the Whiteboard

This is a whiteboard that some elementary boys at Gracepoint Berkeley were using to trash-talk to each other.  Grammatical and spelling errors are just not the kinds of things that boys ridicule each other about.

Yoda's Rice Pot

Does Yoda come to Gracepoint?

English Patient: Sky Mountain Camp

Setting: A group of sisters are looking at pictures of the Sky Mountain Camp.

Friend: Look, here's the meadow that Pastor Ed was talking about.

Sister J: Where?  I don't see it.

Friend: (points to the obvious meadow in the picture) Here, the meadow.

Sister J: I really don't see it.  I thought it was big and beautiful and shiny.

Friend: What?

Sister J: The big metal.

English Patient: Wrong Wrong

Setting: A group of sisters are laughing at a comical sign below...

Friends: [laughing]

Sister X: Huh?  I don't get it.

Friends: You don't get it??  This means in a marriage, when there's an argument... the wife is always right and the other... 

Sister X: I don't get it.

Friends: What's the opposite of "right"?

Sister X: Left.

Friends: [silence]

Confusing Label

I have no idea how to make sense of this label.  This container contained soy sauce, but that seems to be beside the point.  What could possibly be inside the container which would make sense of this label?

English Patient: Hand Sanitizer

Brother T: Hey, can you pass me the hand sanctifier?

Number R

Setting: Sister J and friends are helping a toddler make cards for people.

Toddler: Can you draw the number R?
Sister J: Sure, but R is not a number..  It's an alphabet.
Friend: R is a letter.

English Patient: Hairy Words

Sister L: I have so many things to do...  I feel so hairy!

English Patient: Steph Curry and the Other Guy

English Patient: You know, it takes discipline to grow spiritually. Steph Curry didn't get so good overnight. And the other big guy on the other team, Bon Jovi, also practiced for many years. Lifegroup Members: Umm.. do you mean LeBron James?

Mad Taboo Skillz

Setting: A group of friends are playing Taboo, and the word was "Rodeo"

Brother J: Oh, that place where men sit on this animal, and the animal runs around everywhere, and the person tries not to fall off.

Brother W: What animal?

Brother J: The ones that are like cows.  They are strong.  The rider has to hold on very tight while the animal runs around everywhere!  The animal is trying to make the rider fall!

Brother W: I have no idea.

Brother J: [thinks for a moment]  The burger that all guys eat at Burger King.

Brother W: Rodeo.

Gracepoint Kids: Ethnicity

Setting: Two Gracepoint kids are having a conversation...

Kid 1: Hey, are you Korean or Spanish?

Kid 2: I'm English.

(Note: Kid 2 is not from England.)

Kettle Corn

Setting: A bunch of sisters are hanging around at the Longhorn Lodge in Gracepoint Austin Church...

Sister H: Hey, can you pass me that cattle corn?

U.S. Geography

During a conversation about US geography, one sister proudly exclaims, "Oh yeah!  I know all 54 states now!"

Disgracepoint Classic: Grumpy Old Men Interview Kids for Thanksgiving

Here's an old video that shows some of our kids answering impromptu questions about Thanksgiving!  Thought that this would be a good classic to show in November, the month where all of our Gracepoint churches start to preach about having gratitude toward God.

Persuasive Flyer

Setting: This was the flyer that was passed out.
NOTE: read carefully.

Disgracepoint Classic: Greatest Basketball Flop Ever

About 2010, there was a Gracepoint Church brothers' fellowship time at Sierra Lodge, during which there was the greatest flop ever performed in the history of basketball.  It really did trick everyone.  You can see John Ko trying in vain to explain what happened... but no one was listening at that time.

Disgracepoint Classic: Basketball Fellowship

This is a clip of the basketball game that the older sisters of Gracepoint played at Sierra Lodge in 2008.

Obviously, Jeannie Lee was the MVP. Awesome point guard - reminds us of what Jason Kidd did for the Cal team.

But who might qualify for the LVP is a debatable question.


Some have commented that Susanna Lee of Gracepoint Austin would make a very good volleyball setter.

Disgracepoint Classic: Chinese Food

Here's a picture of a menu from a very good Chinese restaurant near Berkeley. 
This was their menu many years ago, so not sure if they fixed it.
Steamed Lamb Dumping sounds quite exotic.  I'm sure it's steaming.

A Recent Classic: Birthday Surprise

This is not really a CLASSIC, because it's so recent.  However, this post has gotten so many views and reactions that I thought I needed to just post it here.
Brother Bryan Kai is part of the Koinonia group in Berkeley, and I must give it to him -- his calmness through this whole bewildering situation is amazing.  It is a spiritual gift.

http://www.disgracepointonline.org/2015/05/birthday-surprise-when-you-least-expect.html

NOTE: I highly recommend that you view the video using HD.