Moving Boxes

 Setting: A Slack message goes out regarding moving boxes --

"For the smaller boxes, let's try to fit them into our trunks of cars that we're sending over.  If the drivers [car-moving truck drivers] point that out and try to charge us, we will take them out."

 Sister S: Oh wait!  He means the boxes!  I thought he meant take out the drivers!

Desk Construction Job

Submitted by Brother Roy -

This is a desk that a group of our bros constructed --

Roy, being a teacher of the Bible, had to take this opportunity to quote Scripture: "Do you best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed"

Amen.  This picture preaches.

LBJ Library and Museum

Setting: A bunch of Californians visiting Austin Texas

Friend: Hey!  Maybe we should visit the LBJ Library and Museum!

Brother B: What?  LeBron James has a museum??

Not So Feminine Design

Setting: Brother K is looking at a splash page for an advertisement for a game night.  He wants to change the design so that it will attract more brothers, and texts out --

Brother K: Hi, can we try to change the design so that it's not so famine?

Friend: Uh.. you mean feminine?

Brother K: faminine

English Patient: Time of Bonding

Setting: People were praying together for the upcoming small group meeting.

Sister V: Please let this small group meeting be a time of bondage... [pause] Oh wait.

UCSD

Setting: International Student Ministry group was playing a round of zoom Jeopardy, and the question was: Which school has the most international students?

And the surprising answer was: UC San Diego.

When the answer was displayed, people were amazed, saying: wow, I had no idea.

English Patient: Salty Boba

Usually, boba is sweet.  But sometimes they can be salty, b/c the boba shop workers are working so hard.

Texting Queen: Chickens or Ducks?

Another example of Sister S, our texting queen.

So.. after all that.. I am still left wondering... 

So are those Chick Kings or sucks?  I want to know.

Texting Patient: Rest Your Arms

Setting: There is a sister among us (whose identity has been thoroughly obscured) who is notorious for making spelling errors in texts.  She is said to make hilarious errors in about 30% of her texts.

Here's one - where my wife Sarah (who has pain in her arms) sent a text asking for prayers.

She meant "rest your arms", but I actually think that her solution of eating her arms would also resolve her arm pains.

English Patient: Self-Flagellation

Setting: Brother X talking about overly beating himself up...

X: Ah man.. I'm so self-flatulating.

English Patient: Trash Talking

Setting: Brother B trash talking on the basketball court...

B: I just can read your book like my hand.

Due Date

Brother AJ: [working on a video]  When's our due date?

Sister S: What?  Did you just ask me when's my due date?

Rise on Eagle's Something

Setting: Brother J in Gracepoint Chicago praying for someone else...

Brother J: Lord!  I pray that he will rise on eagle's eggs!

English Patient: Decompressing

Brother J: I'm sure you all feel it.  Working life is pretty tiring.  I think we could all use a little time to decompose at the end of the day.

Moonlighting Leader

Will Sam, from our Gracepoint San Diego church, has recently been discovered moonlighting as another person.  

I'm shocked.

Brother S: Man... Ocean is scary.  Because nothing can survive in the ocean.

DIY goggles

Safety is Priority, even if it looks lame.

Misunderstood Bible: A Double-Edged Sword

In Gracepoint Seattle, some people saw the verse that says that the word of God is sharper than a double-edged sword, and felt that it was pretty intimidating.

The Misunderstood Bible: Jonathan and His Armor-Bearer

In Gracepoint Seattle, a student was kind of confused why some people were so inspired by Jonathan and his armor-bearer taking down the Philistines.  After all, wouldn't it have been pretty easy if Jonathan had an armored bear?

English Patient: Announcements

Brother J, wanting to tell people that we are now breaking off by lifegroups into different houses, says:

"Okay everyone, let's go and break into people's houses!"