Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook...
except..
She forgot to type the "s" in the front.
Special Order Boba Milk Tea
Setting: Brother M goes to a boba shop.
Brother M: can I order your boba milk
tea? but with no sugar.
Cashier: ok
Brother M: and can I get it without boba?
Cashier: ok
Brother M: and also without any tea?
Cashier: [silence] so... you just want milk?
Brother M: yea
(brother M walks out having spent $4 on a
cup of milk)
Amazing Mussels Dish
Setting: This is what was written by one of the brothers in potluck.
Item that you will bring: Dynamite Muscles
Item that you will bring: Dynamite Muscles
Acronyms Are Hard
Setting: Jr bros are sharing their camping experiences, and one brother talks about how he used to change inside his sleeping bag so no one could see.
Bro L: Dude!! That's TFTI!
[silence]
Bro J: I think you mean TMI.
Bro L: Dude!! That's TFTI!
[silence]
Bro J: I think you mean TMI.
Jesus Multiplying 5 Loaves and 2 Fish
After a Joyland lesson on Jesus feeding the 5,000, Father B asks his child if he learned about Jesus multiplying 5 loaves and 2 fish. The child says, "No, dad, you're wrong." And he takes this out.
NOTE: There is nothing theologically significant about the number in this case, so perhaps this Joyland teacher wanted to make that point. But I doubt that that's what happened.
English Patient: Bananagram
Setting: While auditing a friend's Bananagram victory...
Sister J: Whoa, whoa!! Cheater! That's not a word! What is R-E-D?
Sister J: Whoa, whoa!! Cheater! That's not a word! What is R-E-D?
English Patient: Amazing Ability
Friend: If you could have one amazing ability, what would it be?
Sister J: Photogenic memory!
Sister J: Photogenic memory!
How Many Dollars Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
It seems like there is a definitive answer... $117.79.
English Patient: Alumni
Sister S: Hi, are you international students?
2 girls: No, we graduated. We are aluminum.
2 girls: No, we graduated. We are aluminum.
Limes
Setting: Someone gets water with lemon in it.
Brother J: These are OK, but I like limes better.
Brother B: They're the same fruit anyways.
Brother J: Huh? What do you mean?
Brother B: Limes are just baby lemons.
Disgracepoint from East Coast: Floor Lambs
Another post from the East Coast...
Sister B's email:
Please pack those floor lambs by disassembling them and putting them in boxes. 4 of my floor lambs broke, because I moved them. You need floor lambs here, as the homes here don't have light fixtures. So most of them need floor lambs to plug in for lights.
A comment: It's pretty amazing that how many times sister B uses the word. I think she really wanted to make it abundantly clear what she was talking about.
Sister B's email:
Please pack those floor lambs by disassembling them and putting them in boxes. 4 of my floor lambs broke, because I moved them. You need floor lambs here, as the homes here don't have light fixtures. So most of them need floor lambs to plug in for lights.
A comment: It's pretty amazing that how many times sister B uses the word. I think she really wanted to make it abundantly clear what she was talking about.
Disgracepoint from East Coast
With the new East Coast church plants happening, there's been a revival of submissions to disgracepoint. I am thankful for the gift. Here's a little something from Gracepoint DMV:
Email: Hi everyone, there is a little breakfast nuke area at the place, so you can bring a small table there for eating.
NOTE: By the way, this person is not talking about a microwave oven.
Email: Hi everyone, there is a little breakfast nuke area at the place, so you can bring a small table there for eating.
NOTE: By the way, this person is not talking about a microwave oven.
English Patient: Street Name
Setting: English Patient Brother E is signing up for a Spotify account, and he runs into the form item asking for "Street Name".
Brother E: Street name? Hmm.... People just call me by the same name. So for me, my street name is the same as my real name..
* Brother E puts down his name on the street name and presses "Submit"*
Brother E: Street name? Hmm.... People just call me by the same name. So for me, my street name is the same as my real name..
* Brother E puts down his name on the street name and presses "Submit"*
Indian Patient: Tikka Masala
Friend: Hey, I really like Indian food.
Sister S: Yeah. I really like Taj Mahal.
Friend: You mean tikka masala?
Sister S: Yeah. I really like Taj Mahal.
Friend: You mean tikka masala?
The Asian Girl from Harry Potter
Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter?
Sister S: Chow Mein!
Friend: Nevermind.
Chow Mein
Sister S: Chow Mein!
Friend: Nevermind.
Chow Mein
English Patient: SUV
Sister A: I want to buy a non-American car.
Friend: You should get a Hyundai Sonata, then.
Sister A: Well, that's a sedan, and I was thinking about getting a USB.
Friend: You should get a Hyundai Sonata, then.
Sister A: Well, that's a sedan, and I was thinking about getting a USB.
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Scrapbook
Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook... except.. She forgot to type the "s" in the ...
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Setting: This is what was written by one of the brothers in potluck. Item that you will bring: Dynamite Muscles
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Setting: A group of sisters are looking at pictures of the Sky Mountain Camp. Friend: Look, here's the meadow that Pastor Ed was talk...
