disgracepoint fellowship

Biology Patient: Plant Food

Sister L: Man, I've been watering this every single day. Why are the leaves so flimsy looking?  Hey guys, what do you use for fertilizer? Maybe I should crush a vitamin pill for it.

Friends: Umm, plants don't need the same nutrients as humans.

Sister L: Hmmm.. Okay, how about juice?

What Pirates Say

A GROUP OF BROS: Howdy, Isaac!

ISAAC: What?  Why are you saying Howdy?

BROTHER J: Yeah!  Isn't that what pirates say?

Birthday Surprise When You Least Expect It

I think there are some birthday surprises, and then there are REALLY surprising birthday surprises that come when you least expect it.

An Old Picture

Submitted by: Anonymous

Take a look at this picture of several cute 5-year-olds and see if you recognize anyone.


Hint: This kid is now known as Pastor J, and he's currently serving at Gracepoint A.
And yes, it does seem like he's wearing a skirt.  But they are shorts.

Hawaiian for "Hello"

Sister I: I work with a lot of Hawaiians at my workplace.  They always say, "Hola" in their emails.

English Patient: Costumes

Setting: Sister Y sends out a request for collecting different costumes for A2F Live...  And one of the items that was sought out was Argyle sweater.  And this is the list that was sent out..  (look below for the red arrow)



Funny Names for Daughters

Brother Shih: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Sue -- Sue Shih.

Everyone: [laughs] 

Brother Chi: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Kim -- Kim Chi. 

Everyone: [laughs]

Brother Jang: When I grow up, I want to name my daughter Natasha.

Everyone: ...

Human Beings

Setting: A Joyland child talking to his teacher...

Teacher: Do you know why people are called "human beings"?

Child: We're called "human", because we are people.  And we're called "beans", because we grow, just like beans.

A New Song

Setting: At Gracepoint SD, Sarah emails Brother J, the ProPre guy, about the song selection for the prayer meeting time...

Sarah's email: 
Hi,
So far I have
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Before the Throne of God Above
Boldly I Approach

And perhaps one more song.
Thank you.
-Sarah

Brother J's reply to Sarah's email
Hi Sarah,
I couldn't find the song "So Far I Have", could you find me the link to the lyrics?  Is this a new song?

Oz vs Lb

It really is difficult at times to familiarize ourselves with all the acronyms.
For your reference, oz = ounce.  lb = pound.  And there are 16 ounces in a pound.

When a Brother D from Gracepoint San Diego was asked to get 60 oz of canned tomatoes, he brought back the following.


Ronaldo - Soccer or Football?

Setting: During a catch-phrase game...

Sister F: Oh!  This guy plays football!
Friend: Isn't the category "food"?
Sister F: Wait! This guy plays soccer!  Yeah, soccer!
Friend: Isn't the category "food"?

* timer buzzes

Friend: What was the answer?
Sister F: Ronald McDonald!

The Most Epic Physical Feat

Here's a birthday tribute video to Mark Lee, who can do one of the most epic physical feat you would ever see.  It defies age, science, physiology and the law of F=ma.  (Force = mass x acceleration).




English Patient: Half and Half Times Four

While waiting for the tapioca drinks, Brother M sees how the barista makes the Thai milk tea with so much half-and-half and says, "Oh my gosh, look at all that double-double!"

The Great State of Chicago

Setting: During the Gracepoint Davis' IGSM game time, this was one of the questions.




Double English Patients: Healthy Idioms

English Patient #1: Oh wow, she is as healthy as a dog!

English Patient #2: Umm.. I think the idiom is: "healthy as an ox"

Normal Person: The sayings are "strong as an ox" and "healthy as a horse".

Blessed Sharing

Setting: After completing the IGSM video for our Thanksgiving Retreat, Professor C, head of IGSM ministry in Gracepoint Berkeley, writes the following email:

"I was much blessed by the shadings of this video..."


All I have can say is that whoever did the lighting for the video must have been extremely talented.

Diet Plans

A brother emails another brother who is on a gluten-free diet, and asks:
"Hey, I want to be on the same diet as you.  What do you recommend for my glutton-free diet?"

Violent Mingling

Setting: In planning for a lifegroup, Brother B sends out the schedule, which includes the following...

10-10:20: Snack and Mangling Time

English Patient: World History

Setting: A group of sisters are playing the game Taboo...

Friend: This person was a great American leader!

English (History?) Patient Sister: Adolf Hitler!

Everyone: [silence]

Change of Mind

This is what someone found in the apple basket in HB, in Gracepoint Berkeley.

There is a spiritual lesson here.  Yes, we are free to change our minds at any time.  But that doesn't mean that it's as if it never happened.


Any other spiritual lessons that can be learned from this picture?

English Patient: Cole Slaw

Setting: Gracepoint San Diego team is at North Carolina on a vision trip, and we are eating lunch at a burger joint, where they put cole slaw in their burgers.

Friend: Hi Brother T, do you like your slaw in your burger?

Brother T: Yeah, but they are cold.

Friend: They are supposed to be cold.

English Patient Sister L: Ha ha, don't you know?  That's why they are called Cold Slaw!

English Patient: A Cynical Place

English Patient: Our family's going on vacation!

Friend: That's great!  Do you like historical places to visit?

English Patient: My family likes cynical places.

Friend: ...  Do you mean scenic places?

English Patient: Trash Bags on the Run

An English Patient saw that the draw strings on the trash bags were defective, so he labeled it.


Gracepoint Irvine Fishing

Here's Ray Choi and the boys of Gracepoint Irvine, who went fishing recently.  Take a look at that whopper!

video

Devilish Tactic


Setting: Mother K is correcting her older son for being mean to his sister.

Mother: Did you say sorry to your sister?  

Son: (silence) 

Mother: Did you say sorry? 

Son: (folding his ears closed with his hands) uh oh, mommy, I can't hear you. My ears are not working 

Mother: What??  okay, fine, your sister and I are going to get some ice cream but I guess you can't come because you can't hear us.


Son: Mommy, I can hear you now 

English Patient: Cherokee

Friend 1: Wow, you are part Cherokee?
Friend 2: Oh really?  I thought that you said you're from Turkey!
Friend 3: Hahaha!  No, I said that I am part Cherokee.
Friend 4: That does sound pretty similar... Turkey and Cherokee.
English Patient Sister Y: What country is Cherokee?

Reading "Reclaiming Friendship"

Caption: "Excuse me, could you be quiet?  We're trying to read this book and learn how to reclaim our friendship!"


Picture of the Apartment

Setting: A brother who is looking for a new apartment is asked for some pictures of the apartment, and this is what he sent...


English Patient: Difficult Acronyms

Setting: People are taking a group picture, and Sister M was working in the kitchen.  People call out to her to be in the group picture.

Sister M: (turns toward the rest of the kitchen crew) Oh!  I gotta go and take the picture outside!  T.M.I.!

Others: [Confused]  What does she mean TMI?  What's too much information?

Sister M: Oh.. I wanted to say: Be Right Back.

English Patient: Illegal Picture Frames

Setting: Sister M from Gracepoint Davis is teaching people the art of using decorative embellishments to make a picture frame look special.

Sister M: Okay everyone, usually, people don't think about doing anything to the frame itself.  Today, I'm going to teach you how to use embezzlement to make your frame look beautiful.