English Patient G: “Oh shocks, I forgot!”
During a hangout time at NL, Brother E and Brother K bumped into each other…
Brother E: Hey! We haven’t played basketball in a long time, we need to play!
Brother K: Oh, sure! I’m down to play anytime!
E: You better watch out though. I’m ranking myself in the Top 5.
K: Oh?! Top 5?! What do you mean? Of your peer class?
E: No.. of this church!
K: Wow.. what do you mean? Like Top 5 at the point guard position?
E: No.. Top 5 in overall raw talent! I’m pretty much playing the best basketball of my life right now.
K: Oh wow…that’s quite a statement… what happens if someone plays you and beats you? Does that mean you’re not in the Top 5?
E: No… that just means he’s top 5 as well! If he can beat me, he deserves to be in the top 5!
K: (in disbelief) Wow, you must be really, really good.
About a month later, after morning prayer band at NL where most people left and just a few brothers hanging out in the foyer…
E: HEY, We need to settle this right now. I’m playing the best basketball of my life right now and I can’t waste my top 5 talent!
K: What? Right now? I don’t’ know if I’m ready…
E: Let’s go! I’m tired of you making excuses! We need to play one on one right now!
Brother E and Brother K played 1 on 1. After E shot the ball for takeout and missed, Brother E never regained possession of the ball as he fell quickly 7-0. It was a fast though agonizing game due to the lopsided score for Brother E, but Brother E could not accept his defeat. Convinced that the outcome was a fluke, E demanded to play a best of 3 series to prove his claim as “Top 5 of Gracepoint”.. In a lose-lose situation of not wanting to completely destroy Brother E’s self-esteem and also fearing the possibility of losing to E, K reluctantly agreed to play another game of 1 on 1. The game ended with the exact same score, 7-0, and not in the favor of Brother E.
K: Um… (Awkwardly) good game..
EC: Just letting you know, if I had beaten you, I wouldn’t tell anyone about it.
While doing a writing conference with her students, she noticed that one student repeatedly used the word "It" in his essay about playing tag with his mom.
A paraphrased excerpt: "When I was playing tag with my mom, I was it."
Ms. L: Remember, how we talked about descriptive language?
Student: Uh-huh, yes.
Ms. L: So...what is "It" here? And here, and here?
Student: Ms. L, it's "it." You know? It's just "it."
Ms. L: Yes, you've used "it" a lot. What is "it"? From what you've written here, I don't understand what "it" is. Let's try to be more descriptive, ok?
Ms. L: What you've written is great so far, but I'd like you to go back to your desk and think a little bit more about what "it" is so that you can make your language more descriptive, ok?
Student: (still confused, returns to seat...)
Epilogue: A few weeks later, while on yard duty, Ms. L heard a bunch of students playing tag during recess. She finally understood what "it" is.
Please provide a caption for this picture taken at a Sunday Worship Service at Gracepoint Berkeley. Note: I heard that Sue, the wife/mother of the 3 brothers featured here, was the one who picked out the clothes for the men of the house that morning.
John: Hey, what did y'all think of those longhorn cattle?
Judge: There were so few cows, it was unbullievable..
Note by the moderator of disgracepoint: I am not sure if Judge was ever into puns while he was in Berkeley.. From what I heard, I heard that Judge was never into puns in Berkeley.
I know that we were staying away from puns for a while, but I thought I should post this one, because this incident illustrates a different point.. the fact that the puns of Gracepoint Austin seems to have a contagious quality -- like the Plague.
Student 1: Ms. K, can you explain how few, several, and couple are different?
Ms. K: Sure. It's kind of tricky, but let's see. "Couple" has to do with two. "Few" and "Several" are usually more than two, but not too many. See what I mean by tricky?
Student 1: Oh, I get it. That's why when I go to Jack in the Box and order two drinks, the lady asks me, "Do you want a couple-der with that?"
Sarah: Sister Y, I heard that you didn’t apply for US citizenship yet! Is it because you’re pro-Chinese?
Sister Y: No, it has nothing to do with that.
Sarah: Well, it’s true that China is going to be the next superpower.
Sister Y: But they will never take over the world.
Sarah: Why not?
Sister Y: Because they don’t have the power of God.
Sarah: But if they did have the power of God, then they will take over the world?
Sister Y: Yeah, that’s why we have to send more missionaries to China.
Setting: At a2f’s last Yosemite trip, sister Y (mainland Chinese) and brother J (Taiwanese) were arguing about China vs. Taiwan.
Sister Y: Taiwan is just China. It’s a part of China.
Brother J: No, China is Taiwan. Taiwan is the real China.
Sister Y: What? Taiwan is just a part of China!
Brother J: Well, you guys in China got help from Russia, evil Stalin.
Sister Y: Oh yeah? You guys got help from the United States, those capitalists.
(By the way, this happened during our 4th of July outing)
p.s.: Phil is actually a very good guitar player. These instances are situations where something went horribly awry.. but I guess that is obvious.
Setting: A 4-year old child, J, was talking to her dad on Sunday afternoon about why she still had the money he gave her as her offering money.
Dad: How come you still have the money?
J: Because I didn’t give offering.
Dad: Why not?
J: Because… the offering bag was full.