I can tell you mockers out there that if we were to have this competition today, I can out-hammer Pastor Ed any time...
And if some might point out that it's because Pastor Ed now has carpel tunnel on his wrists, I would answer, "And your point is?..."
submitted by Laura Woods
Sister A: Hi Laura, can you buy the USDA sirloin? It’s on sale for $3.47 per pound. Buy that one… 20 pounds of it.
Laura: Okay, I’ll do that. Sister J, let’s go to the grocery store together. Remember, USDA, 3.47.. 20 pounds.
Sister J: Got it.
[They arrive at the grocery store]
Sister J: Excuse me. Do you have any USDA 347?
Man: Umm… we have tri-tip, sirloin…
Sister J: No, we want USDA 347.
Sister C from Gracepoint Davis was looking for her car keys, and said to everyone,
“Okay, everyone! Peel your eyes!”
Disclaimer: The real slang is “to keep your eyes peeled”.. I know that many English Patients out there might object to this saying, “What is the difference?” After all, “keeping your eyes peeled” is practically the same as “peel your eyes.” And I must admit that the difference between the two phrases is quite nuanced, which makes it pretty difficult to explain why “peel your eyes” is funny. If I were pressed for an explanation, I would say that one is in the passive voice and the other is in the active, imperative voice. Don’t ask me, all you frustrated and confused English Patients, why that should suddenly make this phrase funny. It just does.
I recently heard of a brother who said, "Hey guys! Let's do DT on Ramen together!"
Friend: Did you hear how that Starbucks closed down because of gentrification? Sister S: What? Starbucks did gender profiling?
Setting: This is what was written by one of the brothers in potluck. Item that you will bring: Dynamite Muscles
Setting: A group of sisters are looking at pictures of the Sky Mountain Camp. Friend: Look, here's the meadow that Pastor Ed was talk...
Check out this amazing sale. Like they say, a dollar saved is a dollar earned.