English Patient: What kind of chicken did you get?
Friend: Thigh meat.
English Patient: Oh, is it the frozen kind that you need to thigh?
Setting: Sister E trying to convince a class of disinterested and cynical students that writing to politicians might be a worthwhile activity.
(students rolling eyes after explanation of assignment)
Teacher E: You know, I felt like you guys too. But when I was in elementary school, I wrote a letter to the President, and you know what? I got a letter from Ronald Regan back!
Disinterested-and-Cynical-Student: OK, and who (pause) is Ronald Reganbach?
Setting: Sister Kim's first year teaching high school, the senior class.
Student: Ms. Kim, you are, like, the coolest teacher in the whole school!
Ms. Kim: Uh...oh, really? Wow...why?
Student: You're, like, the only one who wants us to call you by your first name!!
Ms. Kim: Umm.. Kim is my last name.
Student: Ohmygosh!!!! Your name is Kim Kim??!!?
Setting: USF Spring Kickoff. Brother D was in charge of taking out the trash. After dinner, all the trash from the event is piled up and ready to be taken out, so brother D heads out to put the trash in brother M's truck, as planned. He finds the truck, gets all the trash in nicely piled in the bed of the truck, and he straps the tarp in, so the trash doesn't fly out. On the way back to the room, he was acknowledging how great of a night it was.
When it's time to load up stuff and go home, brother M pulls up in his truck. Brother D looks at the truck, then looks in the bed of the truck.
Brother D: Hey! Where's the trash?
Brother M: What trash?
Brother D: The trash that I put in your truck!
Brother M: I didn't see anything. (pause) Are you sure you put the trash into MY truck?
Brother D: My tarp!!!
Setting: People of Waypoint Church are sitting around the campfire eating hobo packs (vegetable and meat packed in aluminum foil thrown into the fire).
English Patient: Hey, could you get me a pack?
Sister B: Which one?
English Patient: The one that's the size of a child.
Sister B: (long pause) Do you mean a child-sized one?
Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook... except.. She forgot to type the "s" in the ...