8/28/17

English Patient: Alumni

Sister S: Hi, are you international students?

2 girls: No, we graduated.  We are aluminum.

7/31/17

What A Sale!!!

Check out this amazing sale.  Like they say, a dollar saved is a dollar earned.

7/21/17

Limes

Setting: Someone gets water with lemon in it.

Brother J: These are OK, but I like limes better.

Brother B: They're the same fruit anyways.

Brother J: Huh?  What do you mean?

Brother B: Limes are just baby lemons.

7/15/17

Disgracepoint from East Coast: Floor Lambs

Another post from the East Coast...

Sister B's email:
Please pack those floor lambs by disassembling them and putting them in boxes.  4 of my floor lambs broke, because I moved them.  You need floor lambs here, as the homes here don't have light fixtures.  So most of them need floor lambs to plug in for lights.

A comment: It's pretty amazing that how many times sister B uses the word.  I think she really wanted to make it abundantly clear what she was talking about.

7/11/17

Disgracepoint from East Coast

With the new East Coast church plants happening, there's been a revival of submissions to disgracepoint.  I am thankful for the gift.  Here's a little something from Gracepoint DMV:

Email: Hi everyone, there is a little breakfast nuke area at the place, so you can bring a small table there for eating.

NOTE: By the way, this person is not talking about a microwave oven.

6/19/17

English Patient: Street Name

Setting: English Patient Brother E is signing up for a Spotify account, and he runs into the form item asking for "Street Name".

Brother E: Street name?  Hmm.... People just call me by the same name.  So for me, my street name is the same as my real name..

* Brother E puts down his name on the street name and presses "Submit"*

5/5/17

Indian Patient: Tikka Masala

Friend: Hey, I really like Indian food.

Sister S: Yeah.  I really like Taj Mahal.

Friend: You mean tikka masala?


4/27/17

The Asian Girl from Harry Potter

Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter?

Sister S: Chow Mein!

Friend: Nevermind.














Chow Mein

4/21/17

English Patient: SUV

Sister A: I want to buy a non-American car.

Friend: You should get a Hyundai Sonata, then.

Sister A: Well, that's a sedan, and I was thinking about getting a USB.

4/17/17

Mysterious Chinese Menu Item

We have no idea what the first 2 dishes are.


3/21/17

English Patient: Nasty Falafel

Sister X: Hey, what is this falafel made of?

Friend: I think it's chickpea.

Sister X: Oh sick!! Spit it out!

3/14/17

Making sure that there are no typos

Checklists are really crucial to make sure that there are no embarrassing mistakes.