English Patient: Alumni

Sister S: Hi, are you international students?

2 girls: No, we graduated.  We are aluminum.

Limes

Setting: Someone gets water with lemon in it.

Brother J: These are OK, but I like limes better.

Brother B: They're the same fruit anyways.

Brother J: Huh?  What do you mean?

Brother B: Limes are just baby lemons.

Disgracepoint from East Coast: Floor Lambs

Another post from the East Coast...

Sister B's email:
Please pack those floor lambs by disassembling them and putting them in boxes.  4 of my floor lambs broke, because I moved them.  You need floor lambs here, as the homes here don't have light fixtures.  So most of them need floor lambs to plug in for lights.

A comment: It's pretty amazing that how many times sister B uses the word.  I think she really wanted to make it abundantly clear what she was talking about.

Disgracepoint from East Coast

With the new East Coast church plants happening, there's been a revival of submissions to disgracepoint.  I am thankful for the gift.  Here's a little something from Gracepoint DMV:

Email: Hi everyone, there is a little breakfast nuke area at the place, so you can bring a small table there for eating.

NOTE: By the way, this person is not talking about a microwave oven.

English Patient: Street Name

Setting: English Patient Brother E is signing up for a Spotify account, and he runs into the form item asking for "Street Name".

Brother E: Street name?  Hmm.... People just call me by the same name.  So for me, my street name is the same as my real name..

* Brother E puts down his name on the street name and presses "Submit"*

Indian Patient: Tikka Masala

Friend: Hey, I really like Indian food.

Sister S: Yeah.  I really like Taj Mahal.

Friend: You mean tikka masala?


The Asian Girl from Harry Potter

Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter?

Sister S: Chow Mein!

Friend: Nevermind.














Chow Mein

English Patient: SUV

Sister A: I want to buy a non-American car.

Friend: You should get a Hyundai Sonata, then.

Sister A: Well, that's a sedan, and I was thinking about getting a USB.

English Patient: Nasty Falafel

Sister X: Hey, what is this falafel made of?

Friend: I think it's chickpea.

Sister X: Oh sick!! Spit it out!

Scrapbook

Sister V writes an email asking people to submit their pictures for the scrapbook... except.. She forgot to type the "s" in the ...