LBJ Library and Museum

Setting: A bunch of Californians visiting Austin Texas

Friend: Hey!  Maybe we should visit the LBJ Library and Museum!

Brother B: What?  LeBron James has a museum??

Limes

Setting: Someone gets water with lemon in it.

Brother J: These are OK, but I like limes better.

Brother B: They're the same fruit anyways.

Brother J: Huh?  What do you mean?

Brother B: Limes are just baby lemons.

Confusing Label

I have no idea how to make sense of this label.  This container contained soy sauce, but that seems to be beside the point.  What could possibly be inside the container which would make sense of this label?

Kettle Corn

Setting: A bunch of sisters are hanging around at the Longhorn Lodge in Gracepoint Austin Church...

Sister H: Hey, can you pass me that cattle corn?

Disgracepoint Classic: Pizza, Italy, Cheese Are All Related

Setting: Long ago, a brother at Gracepoint Austin Church was looking at a slanted shoe rack..

Brother W: Hey that looks like the cheese tower of leaning (pointing at a slanted shoe rack)

Friend: ... Did you mean the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

Brother W: Oh, yeah... You know it's the same thing because pizza has cheese.

NOTE: I am not exactly sure why this particular post is so popular -- I'm really just going by the number of views that it has gotten.  It might just be the picture that is popular.

An Old Picture

Submitted by: Anonymous

Take a look at this picture of several cute 5-year-olds and see if you recognize anyone.

Hint: This kid is now known as Pastor J, and he's currently serving at Gracepoint A.
And yes, it does seem like he's wearing a skirt.  But they are shorts.

English Patient Confrontation

For English Patients, even an uncomfortable confrontation by a friend can turn out to be a wonderful gift.

Irritated Friend: "I have some beef with you."

Sister H: "Oh wow! You have something to give me?"

English Patient Opera

Setting: Someone was singing a rendition of a song from the musical Les Miserables...

Sister H: Wow! She is singing an Oprah!

English Patient: Dr. Phil

Setting: A group is playing Pictionary at a board game night.

Brother D: This is a soda that is dark colored!

Brother W: Coca Cola! Pepsi! Dr. Pepper!

Brother D: You are so close! It's like an off-brand of the one you just mentioned!

Brother B: Mr. Pibb?

(The timer runs out.)

Brother D: You guys were so close! It was Dr. Phil!

English Patient: Ambidextrous

Setting: Some brothers are working at Longhorn Lodge. Brother C switches off using a hammer from his right hand to his left hand.

Brother W (sounding impressed): Wow!  You're an amphibian?!

Abra Cadabra

Setting: A group is playing Catchphrase at a Koinonia board game night.

Friend: This is what a magician says as he waves his magic wand!

Brother D: HAKUNA MATATA!

Famous Japanese People

Setting: A bunch of people of Gracepoint Austin are talking about prominent Japanese people and Japanese culture.

Korean Sister S: When I think of Japanese, I think of Jackie Chan.

Understanding Children

Setting: Some Austin staff and their children are hanging out..

Emily (10 months old): da da da da.

Brother DL: Hey Chloe (2.5 years old), what is Emily trying to say?

Chloe: (looks at her dad with a flat look)  She is saying, "da da da da."

Poll: Gracepoint Los Angeles or Austin or Berkeley?

There is a deep mystery surrounding Pastor Manny of Gracepoint Los Angeles.

• He is deeply connected to Berkeley, for that is where he spent his college years and beyond, ministering to many college students.
• He is deeply connected to Austin, for that is where he ministered for the past 5 years (and the student body has a deep conviction regarding football, and they bleed burnt orange)
• He is deeply connected to UCLA, for that is where he was born, where he took his first steps.  It was also in LA where he learned to be a sports fan.  This is also where he is planting the next Gracepoint church.

Now the question is: if Cal, Austin and UCLA were in the playoffs, which team would Pastor Manny Kim cheer for?

Please comment with your thoughts and reasons, then vote on the right.

Speaking of the Tiger Part 2

Friend: So there's "Sister G" and when the subject of conversation walked into the room, she says "Speak of the tiger..." 

[laughter]

Brother W: Oh!  I get it!  I figured out why Sister G said "Speak of the tiger"

Friend: Yeah?

Brother W:  It's because in China, tigers are related to dragons!

Friend: ...but the saying is "Speak of the devil"

Brother W:  Um, yeah, okay, just scramble that.

Friend: Did you just say "scramble that?"

Brother W: Oh no...!!... Why??...

Friend: Let's just say this conversation has multiple problems.

Answering Tough Questions

Setting: During a game in Austin...

Q1: Who is the villain in lord of the rings?

Sister L: Voldemort!

Q2: what is the name of Italian bread?

Sister L: French bread!

English Patient: A Sad Feast

Setting: A bunch of Austin people are at Yosemite House, having just unloaded a lot of food.

Brother D: Oh man!  There's so much food here!  Let's have a fast!

Others: (awkward pause)

Friend: I think he meant "feast".

Too Many Eggs

Friend: Why did you bring over so many eggs?

Brother D: What?  I only have two legs!  What are you talking about?

Jeff vs. Jet

Setting: During a time when Gracepoint Austin was visiting Berkeley...

Sunny: Sister S, can you call Jet Blue to confirm our flight?

Sister S: Sure.  I'll call.  (dials her phone)  Hi, do you know when the Austin group is leaving?  Oh, you don't know?  Okay.  (hangs up)  He doesn't know.

Sunny: Who did you just call?

Sister S: I called Jeff Liu like you told me.

If I were...

Setting: Discussion about a brother's small group activity.

Bro 1: And then after games, thought about making some ice-cream sundaes. What do you think?

Anonymous Pastor M: Yeah.  If I were a brother, I'd like that.