Grace: No, I'm not a FOB!
Others: Yes you are!
Grace: What are you talking about? I don't know what you are talking about.
Others: How about Jeanie? Is she a FOB?
(at this point, Jeanie walks in)
Grace: Well, speaking of the tiger!
Many years ago, Kevan Ho's class did an Easter verse recitation, during which many Bible verses were slaughtered. The tension and stress of forgetting had a contagious effect, where every single person up on the stage started to completely forget major chunks of the text, and they just started to make things up - causing many people in the audience to look down and pray.
We at Gracepoint refer to that event as our verse resuscitation.
The demotivator above was made to commemorate that day of prayer.
Setting: James, one of the brothers of Gracepoint, was the favorite uncle of Elise (who was 3-years-old back then). He was trying to put her to sleep by reading her a story, and as she was falling asleep, James took off his glasses.
Elise: Uncle James? Where's your glasses?
James: They're right there.
James: Because I took them off.
Elise: Uncle James, can you wear your glasses?
Elise: You ugly.
"Jesus healed ten leopards, but only one leopard came back. In what ways can I imitate the gratitude of that one leopard?"
--Daniel Kim, DT question that was sent out to the mass alias of Gracepoint
"Then the Maccabees led their group of revolutionists into the nearby hills and started to engage in gorilla warfare."
-- Words on the Powerpoint slide of NT Survey that was taught by Daniel Kim
"If you are visiting our church for the first time, please stand up where you are, so that we can worship you."
-- Moon Kim of SF Chapel, presiding over the newcomer's "welcome" time
"Just beast it"
-- Richard, in response to the chairs being stuck during the takedown time at SF Chapel... Right before the whole place became flooded with water.
"But he can't swim!!!"
-- wife of a certain brother who offered to try to take care of the burst water pipe.
"Wait, did anybody actually contact someone?"
-- anonymous, after 40 minutes of taking emergency measures against the water, assuming that someone called the janitorial services.
Last year, we went on a peer trip with Pastor Ed Kang, where we stayed at a flea-infested rental home. It was awesome. The boat that we're on is Steve's used boat, a few weeks before it completely broke down and stranded the brothers of A2F1, where we almost died of thirst until we realized that we're in the middle of a lake.
There was a time when a bunch of guys would go to this one elementary school in Alameda to play basketball which had lowered basketball hoops. It was exciting to dunk at first, but we stopped after just one time because it was just dumb. But there were some people who kept on going there, even by himself.
Have you noticed this particular pastor's pens or pencils? They are all chewed up.
He has a bad habit of chewing on pens until they are completely mangled. They are so mangled that they start losing their identities as pens. I had tried to help him kick this habit many times. I have tried making fun of him. I have tried snatching his pens away and displaying their mangled knots in a room full of people. But there was one time in a meeting where I was scratching my toes with one of my pens. Well, I was wearing socks, of course, but I was still scratching in between my toes with the pen. Then he asked to borrow my pen for a moment.
You can guess what happened next. After the meeting, I got the pen back, and the end of my pen had teeth marks all over them.
I asked him, "Do you remember what I was doing with this pen in the beginning of the meeting?"
I know he saw me, because I was scratching my toes with my pen for a while. His looked at me with a puzzled look in his eyes, which transitioned to a look of remembrance, and then to a look of incredulity and horror. Before he could say anything, I said, "That was the pen that was in my toes."
He said, "No, Daniel Kim, no, Daniel Kim, don't tell me that. No." There was this refusal to believe in his eyes - a denial of truth that he must cling to. But no matter how many times he said no, he knew the truth.
To this day, this anonymous pastor's pens get punished. But I can have a clear conscience, because I've done my part in trying to help him kick the habit.
"O Jerusalem, O Jerusalem... how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her cheeks..." (pause) "chicks."
(this self-mockery is obviously a pre-emptive strike against any retaliation from the ones that I'm mocking)
Michelle: No, I can't.
Maurice: Really? Why not?
Michelle: (whispering to Maurice) If I have chocolate cake, I go crazy and start saying things like, "bah bah bah bah."
A few days later....
Michelle: Grandma, can I have some ice-cream?
Grandma: Sure... (gives her a small scoop)
Michelle: Can I have just a little bit more?
Grandma: Okay (gives her a little more)
Michelle: (pause) Grandma, did you forget that I can't eat sweet things?
Let's have a debate
- Anna Kang: 10-year-old daughter of Pastor Ed Kang and Kelly Kang
- Philip Sun: 8-year-old son of Tony Sun and Michelle Sun
While I was babysitting a few of the kids, I had set up a mock "debate" competition between the kids - one side defending dogs and the other side defending the cats as the ideal pets. Philip excitedly chose the dog side, and Anna chose the cat side.
Philip: I think dogs are the best, because they guard your house, and they are so glad when you come home. Cats don't do that. And dogs are useful because they can protect you, and they can guard you.
Anna: (during the cross-examination time) Okay, Philip, you say that dogs are more useful, but they are bigger than cats, right?
Philip: (not seeing the relevance) Yeah, so?
Anna: So they do take up more room in your house, especially since they are dirty and can't go to the bathroom by themselves.
Philip: Yeah, but there are some small dogs...
Anna: Are dogs dirtier than cats?
Philip: (reluctantly) Yeah, but still, they are more useful, because they are guarding the house.
Anna: You said that they protect you, but do all dogs protect you? In fact, didn't a dog recently kill a child?
Philip: .... but....
Anna: Did a dog kill a child or not?
Philip: ... Yeah, but not all dogs...
Anna: But some dogs do.
Anna: Have you ever heard of a cat killing a child?
By this time, Philip started to tear up, and his own team members started to gravitate toward Anna. I was surprised to see him so shaken, because usually Philip is one who bosses every other kid around with his unshakable self-esteem. So I had to stop the mock debate and call the game off, giving Philip some time to recover (which he did within 30 seconds).
During the Thanksgiving Celebration 2007, many leaders of Gracepoint sacrificed their dignity by performing some kind of gratuitous act on stage. But the pain of the sacrifice was never more apparent than what was displayed here.
Pastor Manny Kim was supposed to dance across the whole stage, but even before reaching the half-way mark, he started to run. When asked about this, he says, "The stage was a lot wider than it looks."