Tabs

Pun With Gracepoint: BBQ

Setting: David is grilling some burgers and sausages for a tasty bbq meal. Gillian and some other students are looking in.

Gillian: Wow, these EverGood hot links are so good! So are those chicken-apple sausages! Where did we get them?
David: Oh! I brat them.
(everyone): ...
Gillian: That was...the wurst joke.

English Patient: In-N-Out Customization

English Patient goes to In-N-Out after learning about the “off-menu” customization and says, “Can I have a cheese burger combo, Monster style?”

Gracepoint Past: Ballin'

A Clip from an old CF skit, which was what we called it before we called it GLive (Gracepoint Live)

Gracepoint Worship

There is a funny post in our gracepoint worship blog site.
http://gracepointworship.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/praiseband-bloopers-lord-reign-in-me/

It is so painful, yet because it's so painful, it's funny.

Pun With Gracepoint: No expunse spared

Setting: Corpus Christi, at the Texas State Aquarium. The brothers and sisters were impressed with the exhibits and dolphin show.

Sunny: The Corpus Christi Aquarium is pretty nice! They really went all out with all the shows!
P. Manny: Yeah, I'm pretty impressed - it ain't no scaled down version.

Hurting: Offering Prayer

Submitted by Sandra Lee

A couple of years ago, a person went up for Worship Service offering prayer and it went like this...

"Father, forgive us our farts... our faults."

Not sure if others heard, but I'm just reporting what Sandra said.

English Patient: Fairy Tale Characters

English Patient: I saw the white white girl.

Friend: (pause) Do you mean Snow White?

Demotivator Caption Contest

Here’s a picture of a Joyland volunteer on a particular Sunday morning…

Please provide your caption for this picture.

gracepoint joyland teacher

Here's my caption to start us off:

VOLUNTEER: This is why we need more volunteers.

Six Flags

There were a few people, I myself among them, who do not like roller coasters.
We are the ones who went to Six Flags purely for the purpose of fellowship, not for selfish reasons like the rest of crazy people who enjoy dizziness and nausea.

Brother K is among the people who rode on the roller coasters despite the fact that he is scared of them. And these are the pictures that came from that courageous act.


I ask you now: what is courage? Is a person courageous when he does not fear? Or is he courageous when he feels fear yet goes ahead?

Pun With Gracepoint: Great

Setting: Helping someone move in to their new house, a couple brothers try to maneuver a tight corner with a box-laden dolly.

Judge: Are you going to be able to make it through the doorway?
P. Manny: Yeah... here we go. I think I've got enough room.
Pundit: Suite.

Hurting: Dollar Store

Sister S: Oh, where did you get that vase?

Sister M: The dollar store.

Sister S: How much was it?

Your Opinion is Wanted!

Please vote on the poll to your right. My left.

Real Puns

I'm no expert in puns.. But upon consultation with some older punsters, I have come to a rather shocking revelation. The older punsters have told me that what have been written so far in "pun with gracepoint" are not really puns at all. They said that real puns are supposed to make people laugh, not squirm. They said that puns are supposed to be clever, not simply sick. They told me, "These wannabe punsters think that they are saying puns, but technically, they are not. They are just taking random words that kind of sound like something else, and then saying them as if they are puns." For example, to say "That's otterly obvious" - that's not really a pun, because puns are supposed to have double meaning. They said that the same goes for all these comments, where people say things like, "I joust saw that." This revelation was shocking to me, because I had thought that puns were actually supposed to be sick instead of funny.

But it still wasn't very clear to me why those are not puns, so I asked a particular Brother D, who was among the original punsters who now has a shaved head, what a "real" pun is. And he gave me some.

- Did you hear about a guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

After hearing these real puns, I suddenly realized the truth... These puns that have been circulating in disgracepoint are not puns at all. Seeing the real thing made me recognize the counterfeit. No wonder they make you squirm.

Pastor Manny of Gracepoint Austin is one of the original punsters who wants to disassociate himself from these recent fake puns. He refuses to laugh at these fake puns... He refuses to even show any kind of emotion on his face when he hears these counterfeit puns. Because he knows what real puns are supposed to be like, he cries inside while everyone is laughing at the counterfeit.

However, Brother W told me how these fake puns all started. He told me that it all started when P. Manny once held up a napkin and said, "Hey, I'm going to take a nap with my kin." Amazingly, that one actually got some laughs along with the sneers, and Pastor Manny was seen gloating over how it made people squirm. However, Brother W distinctly remembers that that one joke opened the floodgates for all bad puns, giving courage to all the fake punsters. So perhaps it's only fitting that Pastor Manny now needs to suffer through the bad puns in Austin. But what I have a hard time accepting is why the rest of us have to suffer.

Perhaps it is not helpful for us to try to figure out the genesis of the puns that we have now. Perhaps we need to simply accept the fact that we are now in an era of fallenness, and go on from there... because the fact is that these fallen puns are the new reality of our day. Real puns are genuinely funnier, but for the same reason, they are a hundred times more rare. Is it better to laugh once than to squirm a hundred times? That's hard to say, so let us not silence the fake punsters. Let us live with our fallen states, because if anything, these bad puns will help us long for heaven more.

Pun With Gracepoint: Thanks a lot

Setting: One of the sisters made a batch of Japanese rice cakes.

Bryan: Wow, this tastes sooo good!
David: Yeah, better than the store-bought version, even!
Pundit: Yes, Lillian - thank you so mochi.

English Patient: Birthplace

Setting: A bunch of Gracepointers are talking about restaurants in Berkeley...

Friend: Hey, sister Y, have you ever been to Great China?

Sister Y: Of course! I was born there!

Pun With Gracepoint: I have no idea

Setting: Driving on Hwy 183, a couple of brothers pass Highland Lanes bowling alley.

David: Hey, Highland Lanes! You ever been there?
Maurice: No, not yet - but I think I've seen it before when I ate around here. Are we near 'Din Ho' Chinese restaurant?
David: shrug I dinho.

Sophomore Retreat

Submitted by Matt

Setting: A bunch of people are getting to know each other at the church-wide sophomore discipleship retreat at Sierra Lodge

Brother D: Hi sister C...

Sister C: Hi brother D.

Brother D: Are you a junior?

Sister C: (silence)

Brother Raymond & Kevin: Umm... Brother D, do you know where we are?

Table Cloths

A word-for-word excerpt from an email:

"Hi, If you have any table clothes from church that you took home to wash, would you please let me know? We are missing many of the table clothes."

English Patient: 30-Hour Famine

Setting: Recently, our Gracepoint Berkeley did a 30-Hour Famine, which is an international movement to fight hunger. The idea is to fast (not eat) for 30 hours and raise funds through sponsorship, and then to donate that money to feed the hungry in 3rd world countries. Acts2fellowship went door-to-door to ask for donations, and a particular Brother J went to this first door and said the following:

"Hi, we are fasting for 30 days... to help feed children from other worlds."

Moving Boxes

  Setting : A Slack message goes out regarding moving boxes -- "For the smaller boxes, let's try to fit them into our trunks of car...