11/2 miles

During a hiking trip to Summit Lake, Sister K looks at the hiking trail sign (shown below) and says, "What is eleven slash two miles?  What does that even mean?"

Note: The sign IS confusing in terms of font size and spacing.  So I understand, Sister K.

English Patient Debut

Brother W: Hey, we got a new soundboard!  Awesome!  When are we going to de-butt it?

Why English Patients Shouldn't Right Signs

I am not sure if the second sign is written by the same person, as a correction to the first sign.  I guess we shouldn't eat the food, because it's for our New Student Welcome Student.

Yo-Yo Ma the Comedian

Many students of Gracepoint Davis were excitedly talking about the upcoming concert where the world-famous cellist Yo-Yo Ma would be playing.
Suddenly, one of the students exclaim, "Wait, he's a musician?  I thought he was a comedian!  Why is his name Yo Mama?"

Understanding Children

Setting: Some Austin staff and their children are hanging out..

Emily (10 months old): da da da da.

Brother DL: Hey Chloe (2.5 years old), what is Emily trying to say?

Chloe: (looks at her dad with a flat look)  She is saying, "da da da da."

Disgusting Thought

While talking about milk, Sister T proclaims: 

"Sometimes I forget milk comes from cows! ...  Oh my gosh, is milk their pee?"

Diapers

Setting: Brother E go out to buy diapers for Baby L, and this is what they came back with.  One could buy the excuse that he doesn't understand Chinese, but notice the English translation as the universally understandable picture.

Malpractice Luggage

Sister L: I heard about this one woman who was diagnosed with cancer and had her leg amputated. Some time later, they realized they had mixed her up with another patient and she didn't have cancer after all! 

Brother P: OH MAN. That's a million-dollar suitcase! 

(People start laughing.)

Brother P: [thinking he must have mispronounced the word, tries in vain various pronunciations] What? SOOS-case? SOOOOOT-case?

Holding Down Something

Setting: People are playing Nerf Gun Wars, where the object of the game is to knock down each other's jenga tower forts.

In the midst of an intense battle, a particular English Patient of Gracepoint Davis shouts out, "Hold the fart!!"

Pastor Manny: Poll Closed

The poll has closed, and the results are in.
Pastor Manny of Gracepoint LA is most likely to root for UCLA.
I disagree, but the people have spoken.

English Patient: Verb Tense

Brother Y: He teared it.

Friend: You mean he tore it?

Brother Y: [thinks] ...yeeeah, he tored it.

Gracepoint Summer Rally

This was the sign that Pastor Ed of Gracepoint Berkeley saw, which caused him to pause for a moment during our Gracepoint Summer Rally.

Poll: Gracepoint Los Angeles or Austin or Berkeley?

There is a deep mystery surrounding Pastor Manny of Gracepoint Los Angeles.

• He is deeply connected to Berkeley, for that is where he spent his college years and beyond, ministering to many college students.
• He is deeply connected to Austin, for that is where he ministered for the past 5 years (and the student body has a deep conviction regarding football, and they bleed burnt orange)
• He is deeply connected to UCLA, for that is where he was born, where he took his first steps.  It was also in LA where he learned to be a sports fan.  This is also where he is planting the next Gracepoint church.

Now the question is: if Cal, Austin and UCLA were in the playoffs, which team would Pastor Manny Kim cheer for?

Please comment with your thoughts and reasons, then vote on the right.

The Communist Party

Setting: At a graduation, Brother D's parents (who are Communist officials from China) are there...

Sister B: Wow, your parents are real Communists?

Brother D: [turns to his parents to translate, then turns back toward Sister B]  My parents want to know if you want to join the Party.

Sister B: What party? I didn't know there was a party!

Speaking of the Tiger Part 2

Friend: So there's "Sister G" and when the subject of conversation walked into the room, she says "Speak of the tiger..." 

[laughter]

Brother W: Oh!  I get it!  I figured out why Sister G said "Speak of the tiger"

Friend: Yeah?

Brother W:  It's because in China, tigers are related to dragons!

Friend: ...but the saying is "Speak of the devil"

Brother W:  Um, yeah, okay, just scramble that.

Friend: Did you just say "scramble that?"

Brother W: Oh no...!!... Why??...

Friend: Let's just say this conversation has multiple problems.

Encouraging Word

As Sister E walks away into the terminal, Sister H, out of a desire to encourage her in the language of the country she will be serving in, screams out "Jai-ho!!"

Old Video: Pastor Manny of Gracepoint Los Angeles

This is one of the very first posts of Disgracepoint, featuring Pastor Manny, who is soon to plant our Gracepoint Los Angeles church on the UCLA campus.

http://www.disgracepointonline.org/2008/10/to-feel-young-again.html

Although the video is old (from 2007), the statements made in the video still prove to be true, perhaps even more so now than ever.

Star Wars

Setting: During babysitting the kids are playing Star Wars and excitedly tell us which character they are.

Kid 1: "I'm Obi-wan!"

Kid 2: "  I'm Obi-two!!! "

Mind of a Child

Daughter E was looking at her parents' wedding pictures

Daughter E: Daddy, your wedding was so nice!  How come I wasn't invited?

Dad: You were not born yet

Daughter E: huh?

Dad: You did not exist

Daughter E: (thinking for a bit) Was I at babysitting?

Gross Recipe

Friend: Do you remember that time in Cambodia where they cooked the boar on a spit?

Sister Y: Oh sick! They cooked it in spit?