English Patient: Mallet

Sister S: Oh my gosh, your bag is so heavy!  It's like that hammer weapon!  Like a mullet!

Sister E: Umm...

Sister S: (pause) Oh, I meant it's like a mollusk.

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English Patient: Announcements

Brother J, wanting to tell people that we are now breaking off by lifegroups into different houses, says: "Okay everyone, let's g...