China vs. Taiwan: Part 1

Setting: At a2f’s last Yosemite trip, sister Y (mainland Chinese) and brother J (Taiwanese) were arguing about China vs. Taiwan.

Sister Y: Taiwan is just China. It’s a part of China.

Brother J: No, China is Taiwan. Taiwan is the real China.

Sister Y: What? Taiwan is just a part of China!

Brother J: Well, you guys in China got help from Russia, evil Stalin.

Sister Y: Oh yeah? You guys got help from the United States, those capitalists.

Everyone: [silence]

(By the way, this happened during our 4^th of July outing)

Gracepoint Hsinchu Praise

This is a sound clip made by Greg Davis, featuring Phil, who is the guitar player.. Listen for the awesome electric guitar skills.



p.s.: Phil is actually a very good guitar player. These instances are situations where something went horribly awry.. but I guess that is obvious.

Driving in Honduras

This is an example of how the bus rides were like in Honduras (a mission trip that 10 Berkeley Gracepoint - ers went on this summer). Notice the featured car is trying to squeeze in between two giant buses.

Excuses

Setting: A 4-year old child, J, was talking to her dad on Sunday afternoon about why she still had the money he gave her as her offering money.

Dad: How come you still have the money?

J: Because I didn’t give offering.

Dad: Why not?

J: Because… the offering bag was full.

Rock-Paper-Scissor

Hilarious candid video of Gracepoint Berkeley Joyland kids playing.

Gracepoint Berkeley Kids: Tired

Recently, Sarah my wife was trying to put my daughter Michelle, now at age 5, to sleep.
Michelle kept on saying, "I'm tired... I'm so tired."

So Sarah told her, "Michelle, stop saying that. If you keep saying that, you are going to feel more tired."

Michelle then said, "I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired!"

Sarah raised her voice and sternly said, "Michelle! I told you not to say that! Why are you saying it even more?"

Michelle replied, "But I want to get more tired, so that I can go to sleep."

Voicemail

Setting: A particular Sister S from Gracepoint Austin used to work at a place where she had to make a lot of phone calls. Once, when Sister S was making a phone call, she got an answering machine, and this is what she said:

“Hi, this is S. Just wanted to remind you that when you get the document, please remember to sign off on it. Please let me know if you have any questions, and please give whatever feedback you want to. In Jesus’ name I pray.” [click]

Demotivator: Brotherhood

Why, why, why

The predominant response of people who have seen this picture of Jasper wearing a bullfighter outfit has been, “Why, why why??” In response, Jasper keeps on saying that that picture was from his high school days in Taiwan… as if that answers the question.

English Patient: Back Pains

This English Patient is known as Sister M, who was formerly Sister G.

Friend 1: Wow, Friend 2, how's your husband's back? Did he hurt his back playing the guitar and stomping his foot too hard?

Friend 2: No, he hurt it lifting stuff at the Element Yard Sale.

Friend 3: Oh no, the Element brother staff are taking turns hurting their backs.

Sister M: Hey, Friend 1, you should be careful. First Kenny, now James...so many people are throwing up their backs these days.

[silence]

Sister M: ...What? I said something that will be on Dis-Gracepoint, didn't I?

Friend 3: Oh no, we wouldn't do that to you.

Chinese Patient: Happy New Year

This was during one New Year's Eve service. When midnight hit, everyone got up to hug and say "Happy New Year" to each other. I saw my peer Brother K and decided to say "Happy New Year" to him in Cantonese, just for fun.

"Gong hay fat choy!"

Brother K, whose last name happens to be Choi, abruptly stopped and said indignantly, "Hey! Who you calling a fat Choi!"

Hurting: Korean

Setting: At Gracepoint Berkeley Worldview Camp, Brother J sees Sister Diana Correa's name tag and asks…

Brother J: Diana, are you half-Korean?

Diana: [pause] What??? Is it because my last name is Correa?

Brother J: [silence]

English Patient: The Meaning of Hay

This is a story of 2 English Patients, Brother S and Brother Y.

Brother S was asked by the 7-year-old Jonathan Suh to read him a children’s picture book about farm animals. Brother S was a bit nervous, because he didn’t want to be caught with a word that he didn’t know from a children’s book.

But upon the 7-year-old’s insistence, Brother S relented and started to read the book. Then his fears came to fruition.. He ran into the word that he didn’t know. H-A-Y

He kept on reading, hoping that Jonathan will not ask him about the definition of that mysterious word. Thankfully, he didn’t ask Brother S what “hay” was, so Brother S survived through the reading without a glitch.

Brother S then met Brother Y, a more infamous English Patient. Brother S asked Brother Y, “Do you know what the word H-A-Y means?”

Brother Y confidently replied, “Oh yeah.. HAY is the past tense of HEY. Like I hay him yesterday.”

Demotivator Contest

Please provide a caption for this picture of a dog pile...

English Patient: Threat

submitted by Calvin Lee

English Patient J writes an email:

”Please pay me for the attached bill, or else I’ll haunt you down.”

Someone thought that maybe he made a spelling error, but when asked, brother J revealed the fact that he thought that was the right meaning… That he would haunt you down like Casper.

Poor Sister SY: Office Mats

Sister S, who is among us today, had a younger sister whom we shall call "SY". As she was growing up Sister S liked to play tricks on her younger sister SY, so one day, Sister S got her dad's clear plastic office chair mats under his rolling office chairs. Then she placed the mats at the various doorways throughout the house, placing them upside down, so that the pointy spikes that stabilize the mats onto the carpet were now exposed, facing up.

Then Sister S called SY in a very desperate, hurried voice, "SY!! SY!! Come here right now! Hurry!"

Sister SY, thinking that there was something very wrong, ran toward the voice of Sister S, who happened to be all the way at the other end of the house.

Whenever she went through the doorway, she would step on the pointy ends and cry out, "Ow ow ow!!" But because of the adrenaline rush, sister SY just kept on running toward Sister S.

When SY got there, she found Sister S rolling on the ground laughing.

English Patient: Delusion

Sister T: Yeah that's true, some people are just diluted.

Lost Pen

Sister S: Hey, Sister A, you know the pen you gave me? I can't find it...
Sister A: Oh, you lost it already?
Sister S: No. I just don't know where it is.
Sister A: So... you lost it.
Sister S: No. I just don't know where it is.
Sister A: ...

Hurting: Color-blindness

During his junior high days, Brother E, who is color-blind, saw that everyone was carrying a cool-looking black bag. He wanted to be "with it", so he went out to the department store, found the same bag and bought it. He proudly carried around the bag at school for a while, until one day someone came up to him and said, "Hey, why are you carrying around a purple bag?"

Dis-Gracepoint Classic: Dorcs

Just wanted to highlight an old disgracepoint video... Because some things deserve to be mocked twice.

Check out: http://www.disgracepointonline.org/2008/04/fellowship-of-dorcs.html