English Patient: Happy Birthday

Setting: Korean-American waitress I saw at Red Lobster who was forced to sing a birthday for a group of retired seniors. (She was fighting with another waitress about having to sing the song.)

Waitress: (with a bad attitude) Here's your cake. I will sing now. What's the birsday person's name?

Old Lady: His name is Hal.

Waitress: (sings with extremely low enthusiasm) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Hell.

Old Lady: Oh, that's Hal.

Waitress: Hell?

Old Lady: Hal.

Waitress: Hell.

Old Lady: (pause) That's okay.

Waitress: (sings) Happy birthday, dear Hell, happy birthday to you. (gives them plates in one pile and leaves)


Anonymous said...

That's just genius. That will be a memory forever remembered by Hal. Great job coming up with a great way to make a birthday dinner memorable.

Unknown said...


Moving Boxes

  Setting : A Slack message goes out regarding moving boxes -- "For the smaller boxes, let's try to fit them into our trunks of car...