Unquotable Quotables

Upon seeing the boxes of the newly ordered book Satan and His Kingdom, Pastor Ed Kang happily exclaims:

"All right!  Satan and His Kingdom came!"

Shrinking Pens

Setting: Conversation between two Sister Y's


Sister Y2: I got all these pens from China!

Sister Y1: Oh, be careful, because they might shrink and lose color.

Sister Y2: uh... shrink and lose color?

Sister Y1: Yea!  They might be bad quality.

Sister Y2: I bought pens, not pants.

Sister Y1: What?

Sister Y2: (louder) Pens!  not pens!  Pants!

Sister Y1: What?

Sister Y2: Pans!!!

Sister Y1: WHAT???

Disgracepoint Classic: Biology Patient

http://www.disgracepointonline.org/2010/02/common-sense-patient-common-sense.html

Trauma

submitted by Emily

One morning, a sister X wakes up and screams, "Oh my God!  Ohhh myyyy Godddd!  I can't hear!  I can't hear!!"

A moment later, sister X takes out her ear plugs.

Pescetarian

Setting: During lunch, Sister J sees a student eating only salad.

Sister J: Oh, are you vegetarian?

Student: No, I'm a pescetarian.

Sister J: Wow, I didn't know Presbyterians don't eat meat!

Church Bulletins Blunders: Part 3

"Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow."

"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility."

"The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

"Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM.  Please use the back door."

"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'."

Vote for Your Favorite Caption(s)!

Please vote on the right for your favorite caption(s).  These captions are for this picture.

Church Bulletin Blunders: Part 2

"Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."

"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?'  Come early and listen to our choir practice."

Church Bulletin Blunders: Part 1

This is not a very typical post on disgracepoint, since it is something that comes from outside of our church, but someone sent these typos / unintended messages on church bulletins to me.. Supposedly these were ACTUAL bulletins that were printed at churches, which were submitted.

"The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals"

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  it's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands."

"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.  Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you."

Icebreaker Game

Game master: Okay everyone, please group yourself according to these groupings.. Oldest child or single child is group 1, middle child/in-between child is group 2, and youngest child is group 3.

Participant 1: I'm the eldest.

Participant 2: I'm the 3rd out of 4 siblings.

Participant 3: I'm the youngest in the family.

Bro Y: I'm in the middle of two.

Talkabout

Bro K: Alright. Where's the talkabout?

Bro Y: Let's talk about what?

Bro K: I mean where is the talkabout?

Bro Y: Talk about what?

TC Rewards: Part 4

Any Ideas for a Caption?

To start off:
HAIRSTYLE: They say that hairstyles affect how young you look.  But he went too far.

Unusual Name

Setting: Brother D meets someone new at an gathering...

Brother D: Hi, what's your name?

Friend P: My name is Pu.

Brother D: Pu?  Did you say Pu?

Friend P: Yeah.. that's my name.

Brother D: Ha ha ha... that's so unfortunate!  Oh man!  ha ha ha ha

Friend P: [reads Brother D's nametag] And your name is... Dung.

TC Rewards: Part 3

TC Rewards: Part 2

TC Rewards: Part 1

Disgracepoint Classic: Reading

Here's another old post that has become a classic.


http://www.disgracepointonline.org/2009/10/english-patient-problematic-devotions.html

History Patient: Rosa Parks

Brother J is trying to find out where the New Student Welcome Night is, and hears that it's in the Rosa Parks Room.

He asks, "Hey, so where exactly is this park?"

Timmy Tung

Here's a video of Tim Tung from Hsinchu, Taiwan. We miss you Andy, Amy and Timmy!