Chivalry

submitted by Dora

Sister K was at Safeway shopping. While reaching for a jar of jam, the jar slipped from her hand, fell and shattered--making a huge mess in the middle of the isle. At the same time, Brother B was coming down the isle and saw this happen. Brother B walked up to Sister K. Sister K thought that this brother, out of his kind heart, would help her with the mess. Instead, Brother B pulls out his cell phone, takes a picture, laughs and walks away.

Demotivator Contest

Please submit a caption for this old picture:

Hurting: Wife's Name

submitted by James Fullmer

Setting: Claire Kim, wife of James Kim, used to be named "Soo Jung". It wasn't until relatively recently that she got her English name, Claire. So it took everyone, including James, some time to get used to her new name. Brother JF meets them and greets them at their baby-shower party.

James: Hi, this is my wife, Sue.

Soo Jung: Umm... actually, my name is Claire.

Brother JF: (thinking, "Oh my gosh, what is wrong with James?!?")

Poor Brother A: Banks

This is a story of a brother A and his sister L, who are still among us today at Gracepoint.

After getting all his money ripped off by his sister from the Carnival incident and the Library incident, and after getting his dignity destroyed by the House incident, the same brother A had good reasons to be skeptical. After months of careful saving, he had again collected about $20 for his life savings, and this time, he wasn't going to be fooled so easily.

Then one day, sister L came up to him and suggested that he deposit his money into her bank.

"No way!" he said, "I'm not going to be fooled again."

Sister L explained, "You don't understand. You can actually make money on banks. They have this thing called interest."

Brother A was very skeptical, but sister L carefully explained how banks invest the money, and then give returns on the interest. She explained that this was quite a normal thing, and that he would get back 10% interest if he deposited his money into her bank for 3 months.

This was a new kind of thing for brother A. In the previous experiences, brother A was duped into purchasing something or getting fined. But never was he given the choice of earning money. So brother A decided that he's going to deposit the money into the Bank of L. This time, brother A wrote this down so that he won't forget like he did for the Library incident.

Three months later, he went to sister L and asked for his $22.

"I don't have it," said sister L.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Your money is currently invested. That's how banks work. Come back next month, and I'll have it."

So brother A went back next month, but the same story was given. This happened again and again until brother A eventually forgot about it and stopped asking for the money.

Many experts claim that this incident was the beginning of the credit crisis that we face today.

Hurting: Joshuya Sushi Restaurant

submitted by Lawrence Wu

Setting: A group of friends were gathered at Joshu-ya sushi in Berkeley to celebrate a birthday. After dinner, the birthday boy wanted the waiter to take a picture.

Brother L: "Hi, waiter, do you think you could take a picture for us?"

Waiter: "Oh, sure thing!"

Everyone: "Cheese!"

(The waiter takes the picture)

Brother D: "Thanks Josh!"

(Pause, as everyone except Brother D is a little confused)

Brother L: "Wait, you know him?!"

Brother D: "No, but it said 'Joshuya' on his shirt."

Demotivator Contest

Please provide your caption for this picture, taken from the famous “Under Pressure” performance at Gracepoint Thanksgiving Celebration, 2008, which can be seen here.

Suggestions to start us off:

CREATIVITY: Just because you do something that has not been done before, it doesn’t mean that you’re being creative.

TALENT: If you don’t got it, then at least be different.

GLive: Undo

This was the video that was shown at the post-GLive celebration on Sunday 1 week ago. Clips from the old, old days.

Disgracepoint Break

Hello,

For this week, disgracepoint will be taking a break from posting new posts, in observance of the Passion Week. Everyone is invited to join us for our Good Friday Service and Easter Sunday Service this coming weekend. Both services will be held in Alameda. More information on our website, www.gracepointonline.org

Love and Marriage: Keys

I don’t remember this incident personally. But the content of this submission really sounds like something that could have happened to me and Sarah, so I’m going to assume that it really happened and put it in.

Setting: Sarah and I were picking up Brother Steve and Eunice back from Cambodia Summer Mission Trip. Once we got to their house, they realized that neither of them had brought their keys. They checked the lockbox, and the key was not in there. So there we were, waiting outside their condo while Steve and Eunice were trying to break into their own home.

Sarah: I can’t believe neither of them brought their keys.

Daniel: I know.

[pause]

Daniel: Did you bring your keys to our house?

Sarah: No, did you?

Daniel: No.

Demotivator Winner!

Thank you for your submissions and votes. We have these winners.

Gold

Silver

Tied for Silver

Note: This final demotivator is really an inside joke that comes from a previous disgracepoint video about John Korea (that’s his nickname). You can view the video here.

Love and Marriage: No-Win Conversation

A conversation that happened between husband and wife in Gracepoint SF Chapel...

Sister C: I want to get a hair cut.

Brother G: How short?

Sister C: (gestures to shoulder) Here.

Brother G: Not too short.

Sister C: Why not?

Brother G: You don't look good with short hair, no short hair.

Sister C: What do you mean I don't look good? Do you love me based on my appearance??

Brother G: No, no.. of course not! I don't love you based on your looks!

Sister C: (even more incensed) What's wrong with my looks??

Brother G: Nothing! I'm just saying that that's not why I married you.

Sister C: So you are saying you married me even though I'm ugly?

This is why Gracepoint men want to play basketball together.

English Patient: Working Out

Submitted by Wesley Lau

Setting: In a game of Charoodles charades, Brother D was vigorously doing the motion of working out, doing a biceps curl.

"Pumping iron!" "Working out!" "Iron man!" "Dumbbell!" "Biceps curl!"

In vain, they guessed until the time ran out. Afterwards, they asked the obvious question: "Man, what was it?"

To which Brother D responded with exasperation, "Curling iron!"

Hurting: American Idol

Setting: A bunch of people were playing the game Catchphrase.

Hurting: Oh, oh... the person who's on that show.. that mean person!

Others: What? Family Feud! What game?

Hurting: American Idol! The mean judge!

Others: Oh, oh... Simon!

Hurting: No, no! The mean one!

Others: Simon Cowell? That's his name right?

Hurting: No! Not him!

[BEEP]

Others: Oh man! time's up! What was the answer?

Hurting: Colin Powell.

Vote for Demotivator Caption!

Please vote for the demotivator caption for John Korea. The poll is on your right.

English Patient: How Great Thou Art

Friend: Sometimes it's confusing how some of the hymns are still in old English, like How Great Thou Art. "Thou" is supposed to mean "You", and "Art" means "Are", right?

English Patient: Oh, really??? I thought that we were praising God for nature, because that's His art!

Love and Marriage: Lobster

Experience of Brother D and his wife S.

A few years back, S and I decided to go out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary or her birthday, I forget which. But anyway, we decided to go to Spengers in Berkeley, a seafood restaurant. That night, there was a Seafood Special -- lobster for $11.95. I personally thought that lobsters are overrated, but S said that she hasn't had lobster since she was 10 years old, so I recommended that she try it.

After ordering the lobster, the bib and the lobster-shell-cracking-wrench thingie came out. S pointed to the bib and asked me, "What is this?" I told her that it's something that she puts over her head like a bib.

"Yeah right," she said, and she kept on asking me what it really was. I told her it really was a bib, and that although it's unthinkable that a semi-fancy restaurant would give a full-grown adult a bib, that's exactly what it was, because cracking the lobster shells can be messy. After 2 minutes of explanation, she was finally convinced enough to put on the bib. While she put it on, she kept on checking my reaction and the reactions of people around us, as if she still thought that it was a practical joke that I was pulling on her.

When she had put on the bib completely, I momentarily cracked up, and she immediately tried to take off the bib, saying, "Oh I knew it!" And then I told her that I was just kidding, and that it's really a bib. That confused her completely, and made her feel very insecure about wearing the bib. She looked pretty disoriented by that whole experience, looking at me with suspicious eyes, but deep down, I know that she also thought that it was pretty funny.

Finally, when the lobster came out, she asked me how she is supposed to eat this. I just told her to crack the shell with that wrench-looking thing. So she grabbed one of the lobster claws with the wrench and started to squeeze. Well, if you know how things like crab shells crack, you know that you want to squeeze on the sharp ends of the shell rather than the flat side of the shell. Well, on that night, I don't know why... usually my wife S is a lot sharper than this... maybe it was the whole disorienting experience of the bib... but anyway, she grabbed the FLAT side of the lobster claw with the wrench and started to squeeze. Of course, it didn't crack easily, so she started to use both her hands to squeeze harder. I could see the pressure building up inside the shell, about to explode. Seeing what was about to happen, I leaned over across the table a bit to tell her that she shouldn't be squeezing it that way.

Just as I was starting to lean over, the whole claw exploded. I mean, it really exploded. A huge piece of lobster flesh hit my glasses, and I couldn't see out of one eye. About 20 pieces of lobster, along with lobster juice, shot out of our table, and it went all over the tables adjacent to us. Worst of all, one big piece of lobster flesh shot out and hit the head of an elderly gentleman sitting behind us. It must have hit him pretty hard, because he kind of jerked forward in surprise. The only thing within in a 5-foot radius that didn't have any lobster pieces on it was my wife's clothes, thanks to the bib. The gentleman turned around and looked at us, and I knew that I had to be the man and apologize to him on behalf of S... Particularly because S was hiding under the table by this time. So I turned around and said, "I'm so sorry."

Perhaps it's the simplicity of a genuine apology that moved him toward kindness, or maybe it's that piece of lobster flesh stuck on the right lens of my glasses which spoke more eloquently than I ever could. The elderly gentleman just smiled and said that it was fine.

We finished the dinner without any further incident. But after that night, I changed my mind about lobsters. Perhaps it's not overrated, if it can make memories like this.

Hurting: 15 Months

Setting: a2f Gold staff are eating, and talking about baby Sophie's age, and then Brother A suddenly steps in...

Others: Yeah, she's 15 months...

Brother A: Oh my! Sister J is pregnant?

Others: No one can be 15 months pregnant.

Brother A: (silence)

English Patient: Physics of Sledding

"Oh man! This sled run has to be steeper! I am not moving because there's too much fraction!"

Demotivator Contest

Please comment on this post with possible captions...

English Patient: Gracepoint Live

English Patient Brother JN takes a look at the following advertisement for our upcoming Gracepoint Live and says:

"Ooon Doe? What's that?"